How I Met My Canon

I had been procrastinating about buying a new camera since my old Olympus is already showing signs of senility. My aim was to get one before I leave for Singapore (tomorrow) and of course, cram artists like me would understand why I would end up buying that camera two days before the trip.

There are “reasonable reasons” for the delay—I had to make sure I stay on my budget and get camera out of it. My internet research showed that the Canon Powershot A550 was the right one for me and my requirements.

Then a friend of mine said she had a churchmate who owns a shop in Quiapo and the owner can just give the camera to her at church and I can just send the payment through her. All these sans the hassle of going to Quiapo. But time passed and I was kept waiting by the shop. I called often and they kept promising that their stock would come…”call again tomorrow..maybe it will come tomorrow…blah blah blah.”

Until I decided to just go for the lower-end one which they had on stock, a Canon A430, which was just a 4 megapixel camera. Since I was happy with my 2 megapixel one, so I thought that 4 megapixel should be okey. I can settle for that if the Canon A550 (7 megapixel) one wasn’t available. I know I should check other features as well--but I’m not really savvy so I judge cameras by their megapixels!

For one reason or another, I didn’t manage to make it to Quiapo. The one day I decided to finally go, I was told not to because of that hostage-taking incident near Manila City Hall! Of all days..!

With my Singapore trip breathing down my neck, and checking out the net and realizing that Quiapo is still cheaper than Singapore, I finally took time off work yesterday—at 1pm, a slow time for people, and went off to Quiapo from my office in Commonwealth. In less than an hour, I was in Quiapo (it’s a miracle!). I made my way to Hidalgo Street and decided to just check out each of the camera shops. Nothing seemed to click—not even when I was prepared to settle for less.

Then I remember a tip from blogpal Abaniko about a camera shop called Mayer Photo. I found it tucked unobtrusively in between shops and almost blocked by fruit stalls in front of it. The owner was Chinese and quarreling with his wife when I came in—anyway I took a shot at asking about the Canon A550 and the owner said there’s no more stock and that I should go for the Canon A560 instead.

Oh, I didn’t know about the A560—so much for my supposedly meticulous research! I asked how much it was and he said PhP11,000.

Hmmm, I thought, I brought PhP10,000 with me and made a quick assessment (by memory) that I might have an extra P1,000 tucked somewhere, so I should probably get this one instead of the lower-end A430.

Anyway, being Chinese, I am obligated, culturally, to haggle. I haggled in Chinese and asked if he could give me a discount…I was actually trying to squeeze a word in between the on-going argument between the owner and his wife *snicker.* So he turned to me and said, “Okey, P10,500.”

The shoplady stared at him seemingly surprised at what her boss’ said. So I guess I did get a good deal.

I decided to negotiate with the owner again and asked if I could get a higher MB memory card with my camera for P11,000 and again, to the shoplady’s surprise, he said yes!

So then I fished out my money—tucked in different pockets—in case some resident Quiapo snatcher not on his mid-day siesta took interest in me—I found out I had exactly P10,500--not P11,000! Oops. So of course the memory card had to wait. By the time I finished paying up, I only had enough left to get home!

But I’m a happy camper.

Here’s hoping I get good photos in Singapore!

Inspired...?

* should've been posted yesterday afternoon at 6pm...long story!

It’s 5:30 pm and I should still be working, even if it’s past office hours. But then how do you keep a blogger from expressing herself? I might just burst.

I have a ton of work to finish before I go off to Singapore for a five-day consultation next week. The thing is, the stuff I need to do this week is homework for the meetings in Singapore.

I actually have more than 3 months' worth of lead time to do my homework for the meetings...but there’s one crucial prerequisite for me to do any kind of work effectively: LAST MINUTE INSPIRATION.

Or, you can call it a good dose of panic-induced adrenaline.

Whatever it is called, I find myself so dependent to this “drug.” Does it make my work better? My colleagues say I’m efficient and I do deliver the goods on time so to speak, but of course, Jiminy Cricket who has taken up permanent residency in my head, would shake his head and say, “You can do so much better if you put more time and careful thought to it.”

Alas, Jiminy is probably better off with Pinocchio than with me.

Now I’ve expressed myself…I'd better get back to work before I lose my inspiration.

(Un)Common Courtesy

"How are you?"
"Thank you!"
"Please..."
"You're welcome."
"Excuse Me."
"I’m sorry."

These are words we utter absentmindedly or casually…or not at all.

Lately, I find these words uttered less often than should be. Manners seem to be going down the drain these days. How sad!

I wonder why?

What is so difficult about saying the above words?

I remember once when I was having a really bad cold. I got a call from a friend I haven’t heard from in ages. I asked him/her, “How are you?” Most of the time, I mean it when I say it. As the friend went on to chatter about news of his/her life—I coughed and sneezed through my “uhuh’s” and “really’s.” When I put down the phone minutes later, I realized that this friend never even bothered to ask me how I was—or if I was sick!

On the other hand,

I helped another friend through a rough transition period. She pulled through and went on to do a lot of things that made me proud to be her friend. After some time I got a greeting card from her. She wrote “You were there from the very start. Thank you, it meant a lot to me.” No big fanfare, just simple words. Yet they warmed my heart.

Let me set the record straight, it’s not that I want people to shower my path with roses or fall prostrate with gratitude every time I do something for them or talk to them. Far from it. I don’t mind helping people out. Really, I don’t.

But a simple “thank you” would be nice. Nicer especially nowadays when its fast becoming an uncommon courtesy.

But maybe….life is just too hard these days. Maybe we’re just too stressed out to bother with courtesy. Maybe we’re just too worried about ourselves. Maybe we just need to expend all our energy internally to survive this rat race called life…

So, then..

Wouldn’t a bit of courtesy help us become less stressed, less worried and make life less of a rat race?

Anyway, I can’t control other people’s behavior.

But I can control mine!

So…to all who visit my blog:

Please do leave a comment on any of my posts if its convenient for you.
I am sorry if I have made comments in my blog that may have hurt anyone of you.
Thank you for dropping by my blogsite.
You are always welcome to visit.

Have a great day!

To Keep Me Sane

I’m pausing from doing email stuff and looking up at the view of blue ocean mellowed by the rays of the setting sun, framed by green rustling leaves of trees standing just below my bedroom window.

What a moment to freeze-frame.

But I guess time marches on. For now, I am pleased that I can enjoy fresh cool sea breeze here in Calapan, Mindoro—far from the madding Manila crowd, far from the choking pollution, far from Karaoke-mad neighbors.

Tomorrow, I look forward to waking up one last morning to this dazzling view of the sea. Then its time to pack up and leave.

Part of me would love to stay on in this quaint place in Calapan. But I know that this feeling is fleeting, I know for a fact that I am a city girl at heart…that I (mysteriously) thrive in the smoggy, noisy, in-your-face culture of Manila. That after a while in an idyllic place like this, my feet would itch, my soul would grow restless and I would actually miss those hair-raising rides in cockroach-infested buses. I would miss the air-conditioned, food-aroma-infused, never-have-a-moment’s-peace, sardine-packed malls. Don’t ask me why, I’ve given up figuring that out myself.

Meanwhile, I’m just happy to be in an idyllic place like this for my regular ration of sanity.

What keeps you sane?

Dear J,

The first time I met you, I was impressed by you and all the things you’ve done. In fact, I was so bowled over that I committed myself to a relationship with you. I thought that everything you did was so awesome and made so much sense. My admiration for you deepened all the more as I read your love letters.

I enjoyed the relationship I had with you—more so because of the many things you did for me, and the words you whispered to me.

The problem was, you were more committed to the relationship than I was. I wanted to have "more" than what you gave me. Now as I look back I realized that what I wanted to explore and enjoy outside my relationship with you turned out to be a poor substitute of what you offered me. I was like a child enjoying the muddy shore when I could be enjoying the cool inviting waters just a few steps away. How stupid of me.

As I hurt you again and again with my betrayals, your love never wavered. You waited for me, hushed me and comforted me when I come running back into your arms, crying from self-inflicted wounds.

I often wonder how you could love me so. Why don’t you just give up on this relationship? How could you continue to help me, put your hopes in me, trust me to be faithful to you when I have betrayed you again and again? How can your love be so strong, so tenacious?

But even as I struggle to be faithful to you, even as I fail at times, even as I get back up again and continue returning your awesome love with my own feeble and sorry version, I see myself change. I see how your love has subtly empowered me, cleansed me, healed me and helped me to go on.

There are still times I wonder if I should just let go of this relationship. I am no good for you…I have hurt you too much and loved you too little. But whenever I feel guilt prying my fingers from holding onto yours, I find myself unable, nay, unwilling to let go. Who can take your place? I have no one else if I do not have you.

And so I cling on to you, especially in moments when I feel like giving up and letting go, I cling on. I cling on to you, your whispers of love, your promises and your strength.

Thank you, Beloved, that one day there will be no more guilt, no more hurts, no more betrayals. One day I can love you back with that perfect love you so deserve.

Basking in your love,
G.

McFrustration

Last night I went out for coffee with two friends and we started talking about food traditions, like how some people must have a coke with their burger, or how my friend’s daily dinner ritual would be potato chips, and a sandwich.

It reminded me all the more of a month-long frustration: I haven’t had my McSpaghetti meal yet! This morning I stared at a bunch of crumpled McDonald Meal coupons which I've tucked in my bag for ages, and with its expiry date being tomorrow, I am preparing my heart to say goodbye to them—especially to the McSpaghetti Meal coupon.

My hectic schedule plus the fact that the nearest McDonald’s is under renovation has been the reason why I haven’t been able to fulfill my food tradition/ritual this month. Tonight a friend of mine is taking me out for a post-birthday treat in a fancy restaurant—so obviously McDonald’s is out of the question—I don’t think it would make any sense to her if I asked to eat at McDonalds instead! I must really be desperate if I prefer McSpaghetti over a fancy dinner!

But I believe we all have our own tiny food rituals or traditions that make our day/week/month complete. I guess I will have to accept the fact that my March will be just a little bit incomplete…life’s like that, I guess.

So what’s your food ritual?

Turning a Year Older

Turning a year older…

Doesn’t mean I’m any wiser. I’ve learned a couple of things along the way, but I have also been stupid enough to repeat the same mistakes as well. I’ve known friends and colleagues younger than me who are far wiser.

Doesn’t mean I have loads of experiences. Again, I know of people who have gone through so much more than one should in a lifetime. I hear their stories and am amazed and humbled by their courage, strength and tenacity.

Doesn’t mean I have mellowed down. In fact, far from it. Getting older means I have a somewhat clearer perspective of life. I have found my niche. I have discovered where my passion lies. Doesn’t knowing all these make you pursue your dreams with more determination?

Doesn’t mean I am better at handling losses. Having said goodbye so many times in life has not made it any easier. But I have learned to keep my palms open and not clutch at relationships. Friends come and go, and I do the same to them—come and go, I mean. I have learned to simply enjoy the time given to me and my friends.

Doesn’t mean I have less to learn. In many cases, I seldom get to say, “Been there, done that.” Each experience, no matter how similar, is unique and so I discover new things to learn about me, about life, about God.

Doesn’t mean that I will jump on any unfortunate single man that crosses my path. In fact, the older one gets—the higher one’s standard tends to be—especially after having seen a lot of good and bad marriages and especially after knowing oneself better.

Doesn’t mean that I consider kid’s stuff beneath me. I can assure you that my friend’s 8-year-old son can have as much fun playing with me as he would friends his age, and I consider that a wonderful thing.

Doesn’t mean you can’t teach an old dog new tricks...well, depends on the old dog! But as for me…this one-year-old blog is Exhibit A.

Doesn’t mean I have become a disciplined, organized and solid, responsible person. You just need to come and look at my wee little house and my office desk. BUT this is not for lack of trying…

Doesn’t mean I've stopped planning about the future and just taking in what comes along. I still have a lot of plans and dreams—some have been fulfilled and so have not. I have also learned not to fret about things I have no control of, and to take them in stride. But I continue to plan, to pursue my dreams and in so doing, be a good steward of this one more year that God has given me.

Puh-Lizzz...

This is fast becoming a really irritating pattern.

Everytime I move to another place, somebody would eventually throw a knowing look at me and say, “Wow...who knows, you might meet your Mr. Right there..”

And now that I am planning another move, well, surprise surprise, the question pops up again. Sigh.

Hope springs eternal in the bosoms of those who want to marry me off.

The thing is, marriage is good and I’m honest enough to myself to admit that it is not exactly the farthest thing in my mind—but neither is it the foremost.

My life’s been really good. I get to do so many things that I would never have been able to do, had I remembered to get married in my 20’s. Those of my married friends who want to marry me off actually see this, and know this. Yet it seems like unless a single girl settles down, she is still looked upon as a somewhat incomplete and unfulfilled individual. I feel sorry that people feel that way—and sorrier for those singletons who actually believe this to be true.

So to my friends, I know you mean well, but the fact is I AM well—and if the right person does come along, hurray to that—but if not, I still have cause to celebrate life and all the amazing things that God has deigned to bless me with.

Pinch Me!

OH JOY!!!!

I just got an email this morning that I have been granted a 50% scholarship for a one-year Masters program I applied for in the UK.

Gasp! Can't believe this is happening!

When I first thought of going back to school for further studies, it seemed like an appealing dream but not really something that I thought would actually happen--I know, weird weird.

Anyway, when my colleagues and friends asked me about the application, I wasn't really all that excited, or even positive that I would get the scholarship.

To be honest, I wouldn't have minded if I didn't get the scholarship--because that would mean another major move for me (I have moved a minimum of 6 times in 6 years) and the Gypsy also knows to get (sick and) tired.

But obviously, God thinks laziness would be an unbelievably poor excuse for not granting this UK schooling.

Now that I got the news (a month earlier than promised), I am beside myself.

How does blogging from the UK sound? WheeeeeeEEEEeee!

Better than Coffee

"YaaaAAAAAaaaH!
SwaappAAAk!
Thoghug!
AaaaaAAAArrrrrggghhh!
Kill him! Kill him!!
RoooAAARrrrRR!"

Now Showing in the aircon bus I hopped on this morning was obviously NOT an Air Supply Concert.

It's Jet Li taking on 4 thugs in a fighting match.

Of course, he allowed himself to be beaten up, left right center, just for the fun of it, before that intent "Grrr...now's my turn..." look comes into his almost expressionless face and he clobbers every single one of them.

Gore galore.

Sure beats coffee.

Five Random Facts About Moi

I was tagged by Beng centuries ago, but never got around to make the list—there’s just too many odd things about me so I had to sift through them (and make sure I don’t scare people away!)

1. I’m an almost-UP Fine Arts student. After graduating from Ateneo de Davao, I came to Manila to check out the supposedly greener pastures. While waiting for a job, I checked out UP Fine Arts and wondered if I could get in for a second Bachelor’s degree. So I went and drew sketches and whatever the entrance exam demanded. A few weeks later, I found out I passed! But by then I already got myself a job, so I chose to earn rather than spend!

2. I spent one memorable month in Nepal. I thoroughly enjoyed hiking up the Himalayan range (Tibetan side), playing with Nepali kids, warm showers under gazillions of stars (some shower stalls were roofless), wrapping myself up in my warm sleeping bag of down feathers, sipping ginger milk tea, eating vegetarian food (dhal baat) and apple pancake every day during the trek and playing UNO cards with our porters under a candle light, making it all the way up to 4,000 meters above sea level, and greeted not only by snow-capped mountains but also by a San Miguel Beer sign. (Go figure!)

3. I bring sachets of tomato ketchup wherever I go—courtesy of McDonalds, Jollibee, KFC, etc. That is, I love smothering ketchup on my sunny side ups, anything fried, on my stir-fried noodles, burgers, etc. Sometimes the places I go to don’t have ketchup, so I bring them along—in case of emergency. It has worked well for me. Hehehe.

4. My colleagues suspect I have dyslexia. Symptoms? Well...I’m embarrassingly slow at telling time from watches with hands, (analog watches--is that you call them?) that all my wristwatches are digital. I’m also bad at identifying the push/pull sign on glass doors, or the close/open symbols in elevators and…the piece de resistance…I can’t tell my right from my left.

5. When I was a kid, I used to love reading Tagalog comics. I would go to the nearest comics rental stall and rent and read the whole day—sitting with the neighborhood tambays (loafers) and tricycle drivers who were as addicted as I was. This is why my grades in my Filipino subjects were always good. Ahem.

I guess I can’t really tag anyone else, I might just be the last remaining blogger who hasn’t done this meme! Anyway, thinking through this was fun!

You Know You've Had Too Much Coffee If...(Part Two)

You don't need a hammer to pound in nails.
You don't get mad, you get steamed.
You don't tan, you roast.
You eat the can along with the canned goods.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You have to watch videos on fast forward mode.
You haven't blinked since...since...you haven't blinked. Period.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You name your cats Cream and Sugar.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
You short out motion detectors.
You ski uphill.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You spend every vacation visiting Maxwell House.
You think being called a drip is a compliment.
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
You coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter Scale.
Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet and Low.
You're so wired, you pick up the AM radio.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
You think CPR stands for Coffee Provides Resuscitation.

You Know You've Had Too Much Coffee If...(Part One)

You don't sweat, you percolate.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

You lick your coffee pot clean.

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

You can jump-start your car without cables.

You want to be cremated so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.

The dishes in your house are all coffee cups.

Starbuck's owns the mortgage of your house.

You suck on the used coffee filter and grounds whenever the can rans out of coffee.

You've worn out the handle of your coffee mug.

You slip into a coma if you drink decaf by accident.

Your birthday is the national day of Colombia.

You go to the doctor because your afraid there might be blood in your coffee stream.

You have coffee-scented air freshners, soap, deodorants an colognes.

All your kids are named Joe.

Instant coffee takes too long.

People can test batteries in your ears.

People get dizzy just watching you.

The nurse needs a scientific calculator just to take your pulse.

The only time you are standing still is during an earthquake.

If someone asks you how you are, you say "Good to the last drop."

The Energizer bunny thinks you should calm down.

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using a timer.

You can type sixty words per minute using your feet.

You can't even remember your second cup.

You channel surf faster without a remote.

You chew on other people's fingernails.

Cheese in the Morning

This morning, I took the aircon bus to work as is my wont, and as I settled down on a comfortable seat, I looked up and what do you know, there was a video playing inside the bus: an Air Supply concert!

Yikes. Cheesy!

That was the first thought that came to my mind—but against whatever my conscious brain had against cheese, I found myself singing (under my breath) “Here I Am” and “Two Less Lonely People” with the Air Supply guys.

Well, I guess I don’t mind a little cheese.

Come to think of it, I didn’t mind a lot of cheese in my younger days—we used to allow Air Supply to tide us over our thesis writing agonies. (oh noo—I’m giving myself away!) I guess the reason why Air Supply set me in the good mood this morning is not so much the lyrics, but the memories I have attached to their songs—of bygone, carefree days with friends--when our only major concerns were stopping zits from popping up all over our faces and finding the nicest Rick Springfield poster.

“Here I am...the one that you love….”

Setting the Lonely in Families

It's 11:30 in the evening and I still can't sleep. I'm staying at a couple's house overnight, after just having come home together from the 70th birthday bash of another friend's dad.

I am still awake, enjoying the images that flit my mind of the big hug I got from my friend's dad, the birthday celebrant, and from my friend's mom, the celebrant's wife, "Anak ko!" (My daughter!) she exclaims before I got enveloped into another tight hug--having decided she would adopt me after spending so many overnights at their daughter's house some years back when their daughter was still single.

And here I am tonight at another friend's home, not just enjoying the fact that I get five-star treatment (ie. free PJ's, toiletries, towel, wireless internet, laptop use, coffee, breakfast, etc.) but most of all, enjoying the hugs and excited kisses from their son and daughter, who I haven't seen in ages.

And oh, I just remembered yesterday's lunch--a precious Chinese soup called "Buddha Jumped Over the Wall" especially cooked by my prayer partner's mother in law. I ate with them and relished the soup, which took almost a day to prepare, while my prayer partner's father in law regaled us with Chinese folklore.

I have been in Manila for the past 7 years and when I first came up, I wondered what I was thinking, leaving behind in Davao the comforts of home, a family and a horde of friends who love me and would welcome me anytime into their homes. What's here for me in Manila??

Seven years later, sitting in the dining room of my friend's house in Sta Cruz, Manila, I look back and realize what God said is true: He sets the lonely in families. (Psalms 68:6)

It's great to realize that wherever my wandering gypsy feet will take me, I will always have families to go home to.

When You're Sick...You Don't Need A Doctor

"Take 1000 mg of vitamin C!"
"Take hot instead of room temp water!"
"Take calamansi juice!"
"Stop taking your medication for three days and see how things go!"
"Take your medication only at night!"
"Sleep early!"
"You shouldn't drink coffee when you're sick!"

Now the last unsolicited advice, I took offense. Nobody dares tell me to stop taking coffee, it's almost sacriligious to even suggest that!

Sigh.

Why does sickness make everyone around you become doctor wannabee's? In Cebuano, we call them M.D.s (ie. murag doktor=pretend doctors)

Don't you realize that when you get sick, you could actually make a compilation of all the advises given to you and sell a book on home remedies or something? But then again, maybe a book on the "100 weird advices you get when you're sick" would probably sell better. Ha!

I have had my share of really weird ones, like:
1. Drink your first urine in the morning.
2. Boil some of the shrubs that grow outside your house and drink the soup.
3. Drink boiled Coca Cola.
4. Hold your breathe for as long as you can (I found this actually effective in stopping hiccups!)

So far, none of the advices have worked (yikes, no! not the list right above, but the list "quotes" at the top, please!)

There are some others I don't (or refuse to) remember, but I guess the good thing about all this is that people around me actually care...then again, maybe they're just scared I'll spread my virus!

Signing off...*cough*cough*sniff*sniff*sigh*

Sit Still

Sit still my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Nor deem these days-these waiting days—as ill!
The One who loves thee best, who plans thy way,
Hath not forgotten thy great need today!
And, if He waits, ‘tis sure He waits to prove
To thee, His tender child, His heart’s deep love.

Sit still my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Thou longest much to know thy dear Lord’s will;
While anxious thoughts would almost steal their way
Corrodingly within, because of His delay—
Persuade thyself in simple faith to rest
That He, who knows and loves will do the best.

Sit still my daughter, just sit calmly still!
Nor move one step, not even one, until
His way hath opened. Then, ah then, how sweet!
How glad thy heart, and then how strong!
And waiting days not counted then too long.

Sit still my daughter just sit calmly still!
What higher service could’st thou for Him fill?
‘Tis hard! Ah yes! But choicest things must cost!
For lack of losing all, how much is lost!
‘Tis hard, ‘tis true! But then, He giveth grace
To count the hardest spot the sweetest place.

J. Danson Smith
(From Streams in the Desert)

An Unexpected Manila Welcome

When the plane landed at Ninoy Aquino International Airport last Saturday afternoon, I tried my philosophical best to be positive about being back in the teeming metropolis.

It wasn’t all that hard, actually.

Outside the airport, I opted for the ordinary metered taxi and got a really nice luxurious one appear before me. For a moment, I thought it was an airport taxi, to my wallet’s relief, it wasn’t!

So I enjoyed the sun shining through the gray-blue skies, a nice contrast to the rainy weather Davao has been experiencing the past few days.

I pretended that the good-looking celebrities that looked down from the huge billboards at EDSA (Yes, many of them survived the anti-billboard controversy! Surprise, surprise.) were welcoming me with their warm smiles.

Of course, the near death experiences I had as my taxi driver tried to act out his dream of being the top Grand Prix winner, made be appreciate life all the more. Plus the fact that my heart was jolted a number of times probably only meant that I had some much needed cardio exercise going even while in a sedentary position.

But the BEST Manila welcome I got was when I got home. I paid the driver P200, rounded off from P175 which the meter showed, mumbled my thanks and made a move to open the taxi door—and--*gasp* the taxi driver actually handed me a P20 change!!

I was so shocked that I just smiled, shook my head and told him it’s okey.

Now, beat that welcome gesture!

Back On The Saddle

A few more days and my time in Davao will be up.

Goodbye to late night coffee binges with friends, alone time at the gym’s pool, Korean dramathons with Mom, loud chit chats with friends while pigging out, Bukidnon jaunts and inhaling clean Davao air.

Hello to Manila. *Sigh*

Time to get back on the saddle. Mind you, I’m good at waving goodbye…I guess the palm of my hand is all too familiar to a lot of my good friends already, having to wave goodbye so many times. But what makes goodbye “deal-able” is that it need not be permanent. I’ve had the pleasure of saying hello to friends I didn’t think I would ever bump into again.

Back on the road, I look forward to saying more hello’s and discovering what else is in store for me. There are tentative plans but, as they say, “man proposes, but God disposes” so I will canter on along the road and see what’s up ahead.

Meanwhile, I echo one part of a song I heard recently:
“And I will go where there are no easy roads
Leave the comforts that I know
I will go, and let this journey be my home,
I will go—I will go.”

Slice of Serenity

Overcast skies, cool breeze, and a pool with no one in it. That was the treat that greeted me this morning when I walked over to the nearby gym for a quick mid-morning swim. I had expected some people to be around since it’s a Saturday, but to my very pleasant surprise, I had a pool all to myself.

I’m not all that good a swimmer but doing laps once in a while gives me a bit of serenity that’s sometimes hard to find. When I’m swimming, I can think, pray, and reflect especially as each dip under mutes the world above and ushers you into a cool and generous embrace of a clear blue world below.

Life has a gracious way of springing slices of serenity on you when you least expect it.

The Greener Grass

Ever wonder why you order exactly the same dish as your friend in a restaurant but hers looks more appetizing or her portion seems bigger? I get friends saying that to me: “Why does your food always look more appetizing than mine?” I always laugh and say, the problem is not the food, it’s me, I always eat with more relish and that’s what people see and envy, not the dish.

I call it the “greener grass” syndrome. We all have our moments when the grass is greener on the other side of the fence—well, at least, I have. When I see a very slim, statuesque woman pass by, or a starry-eyed newly wed couple, or a mom coddling her baby, or when I visit a friend’s beautiful house. I have my moments.

But God always brings me back to a passage in the Bible that struck me as strange the first time I read it, but it has made more and more sense since I grew...er...wiser.

Psalm 16:5-6, “Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, surely I have a delightful inheritance.”

The sense of contentment brims over and has spilled on me. I learned to look at my own lot and care for it, and thank Him for the boundaries and limitations that He has—for want of a better word—imposed on me.

I could spend my time looking enviously over the other side of the fence, seeing my neighbor tend her garden and admire her blooms. That would mean my own garden would be untended—weeds would grow, vines would creep uncontrolled and strangle the other plants, worms would have their feast on every green leaf in sight, while other plants die of thirst. Then the other side of the fence would truly be greener.

It helps to know that God apportions our respective lot with wisdom and an intimate knowledge of who we are and how we can turn out to be. Once in a while, I look over the admire and allow a twinge of envy, but then I move back and work on my own lot. I survey what my lot looks like and so far, it's been good—despite, or I should say, because of, the boundaries God has blessed me with.

Beautiful Mati

A few months back, I joined a team from my church to a medical and dental outreach conducted in a fishing community somewhere in Mati, Davao Oriental. It was great to be able to extend help to a needy community for two days, this was a real treat--and the fringe benefit was also great: an afternoon in a small uninhabited island across the fishing village. The view was so beautiful that it inspired the 'artist' in me...so below are a couple of my amateur attempts at capturing what I find hard to put into words. :)

Jenga!

If you want to win in a game of Jenga, the first thing you need to make sure is that you don’t play against obsessive compulsive friends. This happened to me--and being so NOT obsessive compulsive myself, I often ended up screaming my lungs out when I see the tower leaning unstoppably towards a topple on my watch.

Funny how much a game tells you about yourself—and your friends! My three friends’ obsessive compulsive tendencies became obvious as they slowly circle around the Jenga tower, angle their heads left to right, up and down--to analyze which piece to move, then touch and poke gently to make sure they choose the right piece, and patiently tap on the piece they finally decide to move until it falls off.

I, on the other hand, touch and poke from where I’m sitting. I don’t get up and go to the other side of the tower—it never occurred to me that there could be other possibilities that might make themselves obvious from another angle—then I pry as patiently as I can manage (a feat!), whichever piece of wood that’s relatively loose. Of course, my patience snaps and I give the piece a not so gentle tug and voila! the earth’s gravity wins.

Patience, gentleness and attention to detail is the key to winning--and making sure to play the game on a solid table standing on solid cement floor.

But hey, it has to topple over some time, right? So why not do the honors and ease the tension that has built up. Allow your friends the luxury of a good long scream as they witness the tower topple in slow motion. Added bonus would be helping them remember their need for oxygen.

After all, winning isn’t everything, right? What counts is being kind and considerate (ahem).

The Passage of Time

Time flies.
Time heals all wounds.
Time waits for no man.
Time’s up.

Time. What a precious, precious commodity. It can be either frighteningly flitting or agonizingly slow.

There are times when I wish I could grab time by it’s tail and will it to stand still or go back, even just for a moment and allow me to restore relationships that have been neglected, change the way I acted on certain occasions and erase regrets, soak in precious moments just a little bit more before it is finally over.

Then reality sets in: time does not stand still, even if at times it seems to. It can be merciless, resolute in moving on for everyone. Leaving us with a trail of memories that are either agonizingly vivid or regrettably hazy.

But time also reproduces itself, giving us a new day, new hopes, new chances, new opportunities—to heal, to reach out, to change, to grab hold of, to enjoy, to be blessed. Mercifully, memories left behind can be hazy for those moments we need to forget so we can move on, and vivid for joys that are refreshing to remember.

As time moves on, I hope to keep in step with it…appreciating the fact that it is precious and that it does bring us nearer to a place where time will no longer matter.

Wheeee! Wifi!

Oh Joy!! Finally! A decent-paced wifi connection at NCCC Mall here in Matina,Davao. And you can imagine how much of a joy this is after four agonizing days of snail-paced connection? My brother told me at dinner about this strong wifi connection from what he read in the local newspapers and off I went, with family in tow. I managed to convince them they needed to do some grocery shopping. And so off we went!

So here I am doing all I need to get done, downloading my emails, replying to them, chatting with a friend, moderating my blog comments, etc etc...Wheeee! All these while sitted at a bench and my laptop on my lap (for a change). Since Christmas set me back quite a bit in finance, I sure am glad I can just sit on a bench and do my email without the obligatory cup of latte.

Ahh, what would one do without internet connection...come to think of it, what can one do with SLOW wifi connection??

Wish that Taiwan earthquake-caused communication problem gets worked out soon, or else...(shudder!)

Hi's and Lo's in Bacolod

Beguiled in Bacolod
*10pm, December 28, 2007

I feel like blogging tonight…too bad wifi is not available in the pension house that I am staying in here in Bacolod, and for those who know me, being off line for two straight days is a big deal! Surprisingly, I’m not too bothered about it, because there were three things that set me in a great mood:

1. Being treated with big, oh-so-fresh, melts in the mouth oysters (along with barbequed chicken) for lunch and dinner. And I am hopping for the whole seafood galore tomorrow!

2. Enjoying the light drizzle for the past two days while walking to the conference site. Haven’t done that in a long time so that was great, especially coming from oppressively hot Davao.

3. Last but not the least, the disarming Bacolodnons! From they’re cute, lilting accents that convey a sense of fondness for anyone they talk to, even strangers, and I get the feeling that for most of the time, its real and not put on. They have one of the rarest species known to man: the nice and courteous taxi driver.

Definitely a place worth coming back to.

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Tortured in Transit
*8am, December 30, 2007

I was supposed to wake up all set to leave Bacolod this morning. I was—but not with a full-blown fever! My companion who came with me at this conference in Bacolod is not in her best condition herself—tummy problems and she suspects Amoebeasis.

I seldom get sick so I wondered if it was the 1 1/2 heaping servings of oysters I finished off the night before, or the fact that I gallivanted around rainy Bacolod in true Davaoeño fashion, (ie. sans umbrella) thereby finding myself soaking wet half the time.

So there I was with my friend, Loida, experiencing agony with a capital “A” as we waited for the lady in the Cebu Pacific counter to issue our boarding passes. And for the life of me, I had no idea took her soooo excruciatingly long to issue them, did she have to compose an essay of how we should get from Bacolod to Davao via Cebu? Or was she using old-fashioned Morse code to transmit to Cebu our names for the transfer?! Aaargh!!!! There were a couple of reasons that kept me from being downright nasty: the fact that I was too weak, and the fact that Bacolodnons have a sweet way of talking to you that keeps you from being rude to them, no matter how agonizingly amoeba-paced their service was.

As if that wasn’t enough, the flight from Cebu to Davao was delayed as well, and there we were in the departure lounge, Loida and I, she doubled over because of stomach pains while I was almost flat on my back on the lounge chair, finding some comfortable position to support my stuffy head. I am sure people are walking around were clucking their tongues and wondering what these two silly girls were up to the night before..oh well, at that point, I didn’t care what people were thinking, I just wanted to get home!

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Oh, well, life and its hi’s and lows.

Thanks, all for dropping by my blog. May you embrace both the high’s and the low’s of the coming year and allow them to enrich your life!

Alphabetically Thankful

I think the best way to cap the year is to give thanks for all that has happened, good or bad. I could just give a general thanks but that would rob me of the joy of identifying specific things I am thankful to God for, so here goes…

A – Apple. I had a wonderful three-year relationship with my iBook before he called it quits this year. Well, it was fun while it lasted…thanks anyway for the great experience.

B – Blogging! I discovered the joy of blogging last March and never regretted it. It has helped me in my writing skills (though I still have trouble with my prepositions) and also in becoming more perceptive about things that concern me.

C – CK, my 4-month old Toshiba laptop, despite its bulk, it is serving me well...I'm hoping this relationship will last a bit longer...

D – Davao. It’s great to spend a few months home on Sabbatical from work in Manila. There’s no place like home, and what a place to call home!

E – Emails. The long, windy and intimate ones I receive assures me that friends who are far away doesn’t mean they've become strangers.

F – Fellowship. Even though I value my alone time. I am thankful for friends I can fellowship with in a deeper level.

G – God’s Word. Not just anybody’s words, but His, most especially and most essentially. There are times when I feel like I'm tossed in restless waves of angst and confusion, His Word anchors me.

H – Home. These days I am hard put to figure out where home is, but it’s great to realize that where one’s mom is, there your home can be also. It is good to be home with my mom even if it's just for half a year. It isn’t always sunshiny sweet, but it is still a restful to be able to leave the adult rat race once in a while and simply be somebody’s child again.

I – Inexpensive Airfares. It is such a great thing that budget airlines are in vogue these days. I get to travel without having my organization pay so much!

J – Jesus, the friend who loves at all times, forgives at all times and believes in me at all times.

K – Ketchup. I can never do without a packet or two of ketchup in my bag, and it has come in handy. It’s very touching as well to know that some of my friends are collecting ketchup packets for me..now, if that's not friendship, I don't know what is!

L – Late mornings. For a change, I get to sleep in a little bit later than usual. It’s wonderful to catch up with something that has become an almost unaffordable luxury to me.

M – Music. It wakens me, grips me, inspires me, and gladdens me. What would the world be without music?

N – Nighttime Musings. Since I am nocturnal by nature, inspiration usually hits when I am laying in bed, hoping to catch some sleep.

O – Opportunities. Some of the opportunities that come my way have been unbelievable, frankly speaking. I am just thankful that I have been given these opportunities…it could have easily gone to other more qualified people.

P – Provision. Living by faith as a Christian worker sounds grand but it can be “hairy” sometimes. When I am in a tight squeeze, I wonder how I will be provided for and God never fails to show me how, in His wonderful and unexpected way.

Q – Quiche. A good friend bakes spinach quiche for me and I'm glad she still makes it for me when I am really hankering for it.

R – Regrets. I have been thinking of things I have done in the past that I shouldn’t have. I know that they cannot be undone, but for what its worth, I can learn from them as I move on.

S – Silence. Those rare blocks of time when the only sound I hear is silence. I so need those times to just be quiet and hear myself think.

T – Travels. Being on the road has a lot of perks, from enjoying nice roadside scenes to meeting new people.

U – Unlimited Wi Fi Access. I get to enjoy this while in Davao, and really savoring it as long as I can, ‘cause when I get back to Manila, it will be back to the old dial-up drudgery...on second thought...I’m not sure this is something I should be thankful for...

V – Vacations—I mean mini ones. I can’t usually afford to be away from work for two straight weeks but the pockets of rest I get in between whenever has been helpful. But I hope to get a full two-week break next year…

W – Words. I love words. I love the fact that I don’t have to hold everything in...and that I have words to use to express my feelings and ideas.

X – Xasperations...minor ones, at least, like the neighbor’s 11pm to 3am drunken and frighteningly tone-deaf videoke sessions. I am not exactly sure why I should be thankful about it...maybe just to fill the letter X?

Y – Yahoo Messenger. Some of the friends on the list are hundred of miles away, but just to see them on line while I am working is great—it’s like their just working beside me.

Z – Zany humor (I know, a bit stretching it just to put something on “Z”). I thank God for giving me this gift, helps keeps me sane in trying moments.

So, how was your year?

Sleep Eludes Us

Cocooned
In the warmth of my bed

Silence broken
By rhythmic, reassuring cricket hymns

Staring up at the ceiling
Seeing dancing shadows from passing lights

Sleep eludes me
Images and noise stir my mind

Of men, women and children,
Shivering on scant, damp mats

Shrills fill the air
of babies’ wails and mothers’ weeping

Squinting at harsh lights
Glaring from above thin rusty roofs

Sleep eludes them
No comfort, no shelter, only grief of buried lives
And fear of another storm

Sleep eludes us
As sadness engulfs.

The Bliss of Getting There

The whole point of traveling is to get “there.” Not for me, especially when I’m on my way to Bukidnon! The travel is as much a joy as the destination point. I always get refreshed from the four-hour (by bus) or three-hour (by private transport) travel just staring out at the wide open spaces, brilliant blue skies, rolling hills in different shades of green and the awesome mountains.

One of things that always come to mind as I take that scenic route to Bukidnon is, “The people who live here are sooo lucky!” But what I always see when I look out the bus window, are people seemingly blasé about the view from their windows (a view that would actually beat any ol’ calendar picture). In fact, many of them can be found hanging around by the side of the road, looking out to buses and cars that pass by, instead of staring out at the green expanse behind them...how ironic is that!

But I guess too much of a good thing leads to boredom…and too little of a good thing leads to giddiness (when faced with the good things).

And I guess the oohhs and the aaahhs that come out of me are simply because staying in Manila meant I only get to “admire” soot-blackened, run-down buildings, murky grey skies and cramp spaces.

But if that makes me more appreciative of God’s creation—far from being blasé, then I guess staying in Manila has its benefits…I know, I know it’s a warped way of looking at the bright side, but hey, I have to find some good out of staying in Manila...instead of Bukidnon.

Will I or Won't I Miss My Flight?

I started the year missing a flight. I rushed to the airport in January to catch the morning flight back to Manila...and found out when I was at the counter that my flight was yesterday.

Middle of the year, I was dawdling around Changi Airport in Singapore and happened to check my flight sched then made a mad rush to the departure lounge (see one of my previous blog entries) thinking I was going to miss my flight again! I didn't...just read my boarding time wrong...can't get those military time computed right..duh!

Coming back to Manila from Davao first week of November, I only realized the night before that my flight was three hours earlier than I thought...an almost missed flight! Good thing a friend who knew about my January blooper texted me and teased me about checking my flight sched the night before...

Now am all packed up and psyched up to fly home to Davao from Manila this afternoon via Cebu Pacific. And what do you know, the typhoon that's bashing Southern Luzon big time is heading north! Flights with PAL and smaller aircrafts have already been cancelled....today of all days.

I seem to pick up a pattern here...

Will I miss this flight? Will see...

PS. I did make it home..Hurray! :)

Of Personalities and Temperaments

A couple of weeks ago, I joined a training where we took a Myers Briggs personality test. I’ve done that a couple of times in the past and have already known I was an “E” as in extroverted (why else would I choose to blog rather than write on a paper journal?!) but forgot the rest.

Well, now I’m reminded: I’m an ENTJ.

E means Extroverted. No surprise there! Though this doesn’t mean that I need to always be around people…I still long for “alone” times, moments when I can be my own person and not have to worry about the needs or cares of others, moments when I can just spend time with myself and my thoughts.

N means iNtuitive, that is someone who sees the forest and not just the trees. I know the value of details…as long as they lead to a bigger picture, or a valid point. The material we were given also says it is someone who tends to “work in bursts of energy powered by enthusiasm with slack periods in between.” Hah! That sounds exactly like me.



T means Thinking. I do get accused of analyzing things too much. Although the material says Thinking people tend to “hurt people’s feelings without knowing,” I would like to think that my extroverted nature balances this off with an awareness of people’s reactions and feelings. I may fumble a bit with diplomacy…but not for lack of trying!

J means Judging—but not the way people use the term! Judging types are people who tend to be satisfied only once a decision or judgment is made. It also says that Judging types tend to “decide things too quickly”...and with the number of “ooops” I have committed in my life, I guess that’s very true!

On the whole it might sound pretty intimidating but I wonder, really, if this is the true me…I wonder too if, aside from the “E,” the NTJ are only because I‘m an E?? That is, could the rest of my personality be because I am externally motivated? Maybe I do have a alter ego! What I do know is that if I’ve no responsibilities, I could be a really good bum, one who might actually make it to the Guinness Book of World Records for spending the longest number of hours watching TV…a professional couch potato! Oh, wow, that may sound pathetic so I’m really thankful I have friends who will make sure this won’t happen…sigh!

What’s yours? Check your personality type out!

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE

Move over, Ethan Hunt!

La Vida Loca!

When I went to Singapore to study some years ago, the first letter I got from home was from a guy friend, and he wrote:

“I actually was planning to court you, but I had a hard time keeping track of where you were, so I finally gave up…”

In one of the places I’ve stayed for a couple of years, which I am hardly ever in, the caretaker jokingly asked me once when I came home,

“Why are you home?”

Last week, while I was in the middle of a messy bedroom, with clothes and other stuff strewn all over the place, figuring out what to put into my luggage, my sister-in-law came in and asked,

“Are you coming or going?”

Story of my life.

Since graduating from college, I've never spent more than three years in one place. And when I do stay in one place, I end up traveling so much I’m hardly ever home!

People who wander into my bedroom or office would notice one thing: it has no personal touch. A good friend has set me straight since, “…make yourself at home wherever you are! Don’t let it look like a hotel or an anonymous workplace! No wonder you are stressed out...how can you relax if you don’t feel at home?” The proof that I have indeed followed this advice is the number of plants I have sent to heaven.

Am I complaining? No way! This gypsy life may have had its “dire” consequences and inconveniences, like maybe losing a potential husband to someone else (Hah!)and losing stuff as I move from place to place (I have yet to master the art of packing..as photo on the left shows). But no regrets.

This life has brought me to places I've never dreamed I'd go to, given me experiences so exciting that I wouldn’t mind going through them again and brought me into relationships that are more precious than any material thing I can think of.

Next year, I might just move again. Now if only I can work out how to pack…

25 Personal Questions To Muddle Your Heart and Mind With

...and everyone on my blogroll is tagged!

1. What would the title of your autobiography be?
Square Peg in a Round Hole: How to Fit in and Still be Unique

2 Which actress would best play you in the film of your life?
Zhang Ziyi (ahem.)

3 If you were a country, which one would you be?
Still the Philippines!

4 If your philosophy in life could be summarized on a car sticker, what would it say?
Love Life!

5 If you could choose your own nickname, what would it be?
Gypsy

6 If people used your name as a verb, what would it be for? (as in he did a sarah last weekend)
Making a witty comeback

7 If you had your 15 minutes of fame, what would it be for?
Writing a Revolutionary Children’s Book that will inspire kids everywhere to reach out to people, whatever color their skin is.

8 If you could be a fictional character, who would you be?
Eowyn of the Lord of the Rings

9 What three qualities in a man would be essential for him to quality as the love of your life?
An Analytical Mind
Courage
Integrity

10 Which TV character do you most identify with?
None, though I most admire Jack Bauer of 24

11 How would you describe yourself in a lonely hearts ad?
I won't put an ad there in the first place...

12 If you could be an animal, what creature would be?
A cross between a cat and a dolphin

13 In what era do you belong?
80’s (sans the fashion!)

14 When someone asks you, What do you do? What would you like to be able to say?
I am a host of a travel show.

15 Which fashion designer epitomizes your sense of style?
Calvin Klein

16 What car would you be?
The Old Volkswagen Beetle

17 What season is most like you?
Summer

18 Where are you in life’s swimming pool? In the deep or shallow end, floating, sinking, on the diving board or in the changing room?
Either floating on the deep end or on the diving board

19 What song sums you up best?
“Jesus Loves Me, This I Know”

20 What flower would you be?
Sunflower

21 What are your 3 best qualities?
Making people laugh
Putting stuff into words
Self-reliance

22 What 3 words would your detractors use about you? What 3 words would your friends use about you? Who do you agree with?
Detractors might say: Too Direct; Too Quick to Judge; Emotional
Friends might say: Honest, Reliable, Loyal
I agree with everyone of them.

23 Which of the 7 deadly sins are you most likely to commit?
Glutonny! Help!

24 What famous person, past or present, would most enjoy your company?
Gary Valenciano...and I hope he gets to read this!

25 When & where were you the happiest you've ever been in your life?
Early 90’s, while working at an Indochinese Refugee Camp in Bataan, Northern Philippines.

Marang, Bay!

What’s that smell?

Whoa! there it is again! Whew!

What other fruit would give such a strong olfactory impression other than the (in)famous durian? Everywhere you go now in Davao, and many other cities in Mindanao, you see them precariously piled high in all their thorny splendour. If the aroma is not a scent to behold for you, then maybe the sight does! Not many fruits look as interesting as a durian—and that’s why it gets a lot of attention--and loyalty from fellow Mindanaoans.

So, I am afraid that I have been subjected to much persecution because I dare to admit that I don’t eat durian. I like Marang better—that declaration should be enough to assure people that I am still very much a true blue Mindanaoan, but no, sir, it doesn’t!

I don’t understand why the lowly Marang is overlooked and underrated. Hey if you give the Marang a chance, you’ll realize that it has better qualities than the overrated durian!

Firstly, its just as odd-looking as the durian but not as harmful. If you accidentally drop a Marang on your foot, you’ll be a bit sticky but you’re okey--but if it’s a durian….(never mind, don’t want to get into too much gore here.)

Secondly, its aroma is definitely not going to make you wrinkle your nose or (to some others) violently sick. Its mild scent invites people to come and savor it, unlike the durian who boldly proclaims its aroma (or odor, depends who’s smelling) but delivers quite a different taste.

Thirdly, check out its mild, sweet taste! Why go for the bitter zing when life’s already giving you heaps of that? Just let the Marang's sweet taste melt in your mouth and you’re in 7th heaven.

Fourthly, with Marang, nobody’s going to run away when you suddenly burp! While the durian has been known to break up marriages…(alright! temporarily, at least..!)

May the Marang get better press from now on, it deserves the honor!

Where I Lay My Head

*written October 11 in GenSan

I just woke up from the third bed I’ve slept in since I came to Gen San 7 days ago…another new bed, well-slept. If I were asked to count how many beds I’ve slept in since I left home to work, I would never be able to tell!

My six-month stay in Thailand a couple of years ago is pretty much a description of my life: wandering from one place to another by plane, train, tuktuk and car and sleeping in a grand total of 36 beds.

I’ve slept on a rock-hard mattress on the floor, on a lopsided bed ready to collapse anytime, on an upper bunk of a very shaky bunk bed (look ma, no railings!), on a rickety bed of a chugging train, in a sleeping bag on a breezy bamboo floor, on a lovely, firm queen-sized bed. I’ve slept on a bed with a bat hanging upside down above it. I’ve slept on a bed possessively claimed by the owner’s cat. I’ve slept on a bed with a lizard crawling up my leg in the middle of the night.

Having slept on so many beds, you’d think I can sleep well anywhere. How I wish that were true! The thing is, along with the different beds, comes different situations, different conditions and so, different sleep.

In all this time, I can only remember one particular bed on which I not only had wonderful, deep restful sleep, but also the most fantastic Technicolor dreams that leave me with a wonderful feeling when I woke up! I told my host this and she said that she prays over her guest room—that the Lord will grant anyone who uses that room good, restful sleep. Isn’t that a wonderful thing! But then, that was just for three days...and then I had to move on to another city, and another bed.

It must be nice to sleep on just one comfortable, sturdy, queen-sized bed for the rest of your life—a bed I can often come home to---my own. A bed I can dream dreams in, a bed I can lie down on happily falling asleep as I see my dreams fulfilled. A bed that I can fall asleep crying on, like a close friend’s shoulder and wake up comforted. There’s no one bed who has seen me through all my good and bad days—no bed I have shared lots of memories with.

Interestingly, one Man had it worse! He said, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”( Matthew 8:20)

Not an easy thing, to follow such a Master. But I am looking forward to one day having my own bed, enjoying good rest and the Master’s presence forever.

That Off Line Feeling

I'm hanging out at my aunt's place in Gen San the past two days and its been pretty laid back, just the pace I like my vacations to be. But what was really curious was my reaction when I found out they had DSL!

You see, I had been in Gen San for about a week already, but the first few days, I was holding a workshop and staying in a place where the outside world was only accessible either by my cellphone or by tricycle. When my hosts mentioned this, I was quite cool about it. In fact, I thought, this would be great since it will give me a chance to just disconnect and focus on the workshop plus throw in some retreat time for myself. Well, the 4-day stay went quickly enough and I was pretty proud of myself for staying nonchalantly disconnected all that time.

Until I got to my Aunt's place...with the workshop done and nothing else to focus on but thoughts of next week's work schedule...I started to get that "I-must-get-on-line" feeling. I wondered when the twicthy feeling would pass since I was almost positive that I would have to stay off-line for a few more days--since I assumed that my Aunt didnt know a thing about going on line--until I saw their computer and my cousin typing away on it...and ventured to ask the all-important question, "Do you have DSL?"

The feeling I had must be similar to that of a coke addict finally taking a hit after days of trying to stay clean...hmmm...not a pleasant comparison, but I have to admit that this has become sort of an addiction. Sigh.

So here I am on-line, relief flowing through my veins as I checked my inbox and answered all the important(?) emails. I had thought I would simply spend my time at my aunt's place resting and enjoying "other stuff" that being off line would bring me. So I am not sure this is a good thing...being on line that is.

I hope I can go off-line after this...though I would'nt bet on it...would somebody please start a webaholic anonymous group???? On line???

Babel-Tongued

“Di tsai iya ba kung asa ang pinakalami nga restaurant dito sa Davao?”
“Ay, hindi ko baya alam, better siguro kung di khi m’ng Bebbs na lang.”

If you are not a Cebuano-speaking, Davao-born Chinese, you would be scratching your head, wondering what the above gibberish is all about. You might be able to guess part of it, but would be hard pressed to figure what language it is exactly.

Well, there’s no name to it, but just to say that the above exchange is a concoction of 4 languages: Hokkien, Cebuano, English, Tagalog. It can get more complicated than that, depending on who you talk to, what region you are in and what context.

I guess if you are an overseas born whatever—Chinese, Indian, Filipino…etc. etc., you’d end up becoming as linguistically mixed up as I am. People are so impressed that I speak 5 or so languages (throw in Cantonese to the above list)...what they don’t realize is that I am a jill-of-all-trades but a mistress of none: I am not fluent in any of them!

To my shame, I can only say that the language I am most comfortable with speaking and writing in, is English. Shame because that shouldn’t be…my ethnicity is Cantonese Chinese, so why can’t I be identified as such in my speech?

But the world has grown much more complicated than that.

Globalization has done a lot of good things for the world, but then it also has its setbacks…like producing mixed-up people (yours truly as Exhibit A) who don’t exactly know who they are, and where they belong.

Finding my center in Christ has been a real relief for me—this has helped me celebrate instead of denigrate my uniquely blended identity (and embrace the eccentricities that come with it!). His truth has somehow helped me identify and (try to) live out the best of who I am….obviously a lot of tweaking is still called for, but I am thankful that He has given me an identity that I can hold on to.

Simple Life, Simple Problems

Locker Room Wisdom

The only thing I had expected to gain from going to the gym was fitness. Little did I realize that there was much more to gain, like advices you get or overhear in the locker room. Some are wacky, some ironic, some true but all are interesting, to say the least. Here’s some I’ve picked up…(you supply the comments)

1. To gain your ideal weight, eat only meat buns for one whole week.
2. The best (and cheapest) steak in town is just a block away from the gym (tip from one of the gym instructors).
3. Instead of eating chocolates when you’re hungry, try bananas.
4. Exercise more so your husband won’t go looking for another woman.
5. You must look stylish while you exercise…buy these exercise costumes from me!
6. When you exercise a lot, you’ll be so addicted to it that you'll look for it everyday.
7. Gym instructors usually punish you on Mondays with high impact exercises for your lazy, pig-out weekends.
8. Manang (Big Sister) Alma, the cleaning lady, sells the best bibingka (rice cakes).
9. The thin ones are often addicted to exercise...the fat ones have to drag themselves to the gym!
10. You must wear bras with maximum support if you are going to jump up and down at aero!

Born Yesterday(?)

This morning, I woke up to the sound of my cellphone’s robotic text tone. Trying to clear the sleep fog from my brain, I checked the message and boy, did the message zap the fog away fast!

“PHIL. CHARITY FOUNDATION inform (sic) that ur CELPHONE NO# had won (800,000.00) During our 50th annvrsry text ur NME, AGE& ADDS. 4MORE INFO, CAL NOW, REY T. OSMENA. +639286087535”

Whoa! Brain jumpstarts….
Hmmm…Brain starts whirring…
Oh…Brain realizes that owner of brain is not born yesterday…
Yeah, right…Brain snickers…
Duh! Brain wonders if people actually believe is kind of baloney…

But after that less than 30-second-knee-jerk cerebral processing, I began to wonder again, but what if…?

As they say, there’s a sucker born every minute…I don’t consider myself one, but in this case, I decided there’s no harm checking this one out, but not by replying to Rey T. Osmena and thereby biting the bait. I texted my dear lawyer-friend and got her reply:

“That’s a hoax. Call PCSO and ask if there is such a foundation and promo.”

Well, for a minute I began fantasizing on what to do with 800,000.00.. the currency was indicated, so I started wondering…

Yen? Yikes, hope not…
Peso? Hmmm, okey lang
US Dollars? Hmmm….wish wish…
British Pound? Hmmm….Yes! Yes!

Oh, well…no harm done. But I wonder about others who’ve been suckered into this scam…I wonder how much they ended up losing.

Well, to Rey T. Osmena, (or whoever you are using somebody else’s name), you will definitely reap what you sow.

Beware of Korean Dramas!!

Since I’ve been based in Davao for the past three months, I have spent my bonding times with mom watching Korean dramas on DVDs. I have had friends tell me that they are addictive, and that they have great plots. Since I have never really been a soap fan, I never bothered to check out how true (or false) my friends’ claims were.

And then I came home to a mom who's on a self-imposed retirement—and filling most of her time watching Korean soaps (the DVDs are faithfully supplied by her friendly suki Abdul in downtown Davao). So how do I bond with her when her eyes seldom stray from the TV???

The first one I watched with her was a weepy one called ‘Spring Waltz.’ It just happened that I liked it and got really hooked—even to the point of enduring the really dragging parts of the soap.



The English subtitles were impressive on the first half…so by the time the English went from bad to undecipherable, I was already far too emotionally involved with the romance of Eun Jung and Jae Ha to break away. But since the weepy tale did have a good plot, good-looking actors (a must for me, after all, this kind of stuff is supposed to be escapism, right??) and it ended happily, nobody had to stick a gun on my head to get me started on the next Korean soap.

That’s how it started to get frustrating.

The next one was 16 dragging, weepy episodes long (my mom cried at every episode) and, que horror! the lovers both died at the end!! Argggghhhh!!! How could the producers of the show be so sadistic as to pull my emotions up and down like a yoyo through 16 episodes only to send me crashing at the end?!

Because I am an idiot, I allowed myself to be conned one more time. I found myself shattered, yet again, when the heroine died on me, leaving me dismayed at having to cope with another tragic end!

So this is a word of caution to all of you who are still on the verge of getting hooked—if you don’t want to fall prey to sadistic Korean directors, check out the ending first!!!

Ok, I think I’d better get back to having a life now…

PS. Check out Super Rookie though, it’s funny, has superb English subtitles, the lead actors are good looking, and most importantly…it has a happy ending!


PPS. At least I got to bond very well with mom…and this is still my (best) excuse for watching Korean dramas…

Cherish, Dont Cling

In the past three months, I saw:
My laptop crashing.
My eyeglasses snap.
My wristwatch break.
My thumbdrive not working.

Weird that all of them should go, one after the other. In a span of a few months. For every object that broke, I kept saying to myself, these are just “things.” There’s more to life than “things.”

Knowing this has not kept me from feeling ticked off, to say the least. It’s not just that they happened one after the other, or that this has set me back financially—big time, but it's more the sentiments I’ve attached to these things. Each one has a special reason for being bought, and as I use them, memories pile up to make each thing more valuable than the price I paid for them.

I can choose to go on and feel miserable about it—hey, its fun to wallow in self-pity. But I have a life. So I choose to move on. I realize that these things could’ve been broken relationships, friends who’ve moved, or dear ones who’ve left this life. I’ve had my share of these as well…and I chose to move on as well.

But I have been learned somewhere along my journey, to
Cherish…family, friends, memories, things with special meaning, and not cling on to them, instead, cling on to…God’s Word, His love and His promises.

CONGRATULATIONS, 24!!!

Cheers to the Greatest TV Show on Earth! You deserve the Emmys!

Thoughts of Heaven

How would you feel if you were told that you only have 5 days to live?

That happened to a friend’s friend. And as we prayed for her, I felt, in a very strange way, an overwhelming sense of excitement. A bit twisted of me to think this… I guess it sounds twisted to those who are left behind, they will feel the pain of loss. The one who has left would interestingly, will feel the pleasure of gaining a face to face meeting with the glorious Maker…for eternity!

Even with all of what this life has to offer, it cannot compare with what life would be in the Great Beyond.

What if I was the one hit with cancer and told that I only had a couple of days left? I was reeling a bit at the thought of getting off this life-train and entering the pearly gates, but not with terror but with thrill. But then again, this is all hypothetical. I might feel a bit differently when the time comes to meet my Maker.

But let’s just say this would happen..

Let me see…things I would miss when I get to heaven would be…a friend’s shoulder when I need one to cry on, a warm shower after coming in drenched from the rain, a hot cup of coffee that blasts away the leftover sleepiness in the morning, my mom’s home cooking after having to eat commercial junk while living alone in Manila, a good belly-aching laugh after a really stressful day, a sense of wonder seeing how God miraculously provides after I lose something…

It’s all the “bad” stuff that makes the “good” stuff even better. I guess that is what makes this life “fun” to live: the good stuff that is so much appreciated because of the bad ones that happen.

In heaven, there won’t be any bad stuff that would help me appreciate the good ones. But by then, I guess it won’t matter anyway, I’d be too awed by all the good stuff to even think of anything else.

“Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be his people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear form their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain…(Rev. 21:3-4)

Color Blind

I spent one lazy afternoon watching a romantic comedy on DVD called Guess Who which was about the snags of a cross-racial relationship (ie. white man and black woman). As I snickered at the hilarious antics of the black dad and his daughter’s white boyfriend, my niece, Nikka came in and out of the bedroom, glancing once in a while at the movie.

At one point, she stopped and stared at a scene and asked, “Why is the dad angry with that man?” I absently replied, “Oh, he doesn’t want that man to marry his daughter.” She puzzled over the scene of the dark-skinned father-daughter pair with the sparkling white boy sandwiched between them, and wondered out loud, “Why doesn’t he like the boy?”

Out of the mouth of babes.

I would have thought it was obvious just by looking at the stark contrast of skin colors...until I realized I was talking to a child. Nikka, at age 8, is still color blind. She still doesn’t have the grown ups’ tendencies of judging people by their externals.

How amazingly peaceful the world would be if we have not allowed the innocence of childhood to be polluted by the so-called wisdom of adulthood.

That short exchange with my niece forced me to look into myself: How "un-colorblind" am I? Do I size people up by what I physically see? Do I treat people differently simply because their skin colors are shades darker (or lighter) than mine?

A few days later, I watched another movie. It was also a color-themed movie but with a darker tone: Crash. The movie centered on two tumultuous days in the lives of certain individuals in Los Angeles, where the color of one’s skin becomes the trigger for the tumult. In some sense, it was painful to watch that movie as it depicts, in an “in your face” way, how all of us have a bit of racism coursing through our blood.

The tagline of the movie was “You think you know who you are. You have no idea.” Indeed.

We may not exhibit our racism in violent ways but it is there, just below the surface, waiting or something or someone to trigger it. Can we ever really return to the innocence of childhood and gain back the gift of colorblindness?