You Know You've Had Too Much Coffee If...(Part Two)

You don't need a hammer to pound in nails.
You don't get mad, you get steamed.
You don't tan, you roast.
You eat the can along with the canned goods.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You have to watch videos on fast forward mode.
You haven't blinked since...since...you haven't blinked. Period.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You name your cats Cream and Sugar.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
You short out motion detectors.
You ski uphill.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You spend every vacation visiting Maxwell House.
You think being called a drip is a compliment.
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
You coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter Scale.
Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet and Low.
You're so wired, you pick up the AM radio.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
You think CPR stands for Coffee Provides Resuscitation.