The Greener Grass

Ever wonder why you order exactly the same dish as your friend in a restaurant but hers looks more appetizing or her portion seems bigger? I get friends saying that to me: “Why does your food always look more appetizing than mine?” I always laugh and say, the problem is not the food, it’s me, I always eat with more relish and that’s what people see and envy, not the dish.

I call it the “greener grass” syndrome. We all have our moments when the grass is greener on the other side of the fence—well, at least, I have. When I see a very slim, statuesque woman pass by, or a starry-eyed newly wed couple, or a mom coddling her baby, or when I visit a friend’s beautiful house. I have my moments.

But God always brings me back to a passage in the Bible that struck me as strange the first time I read it, but it has made more and more sense since I grew...er...wiser.

Psalm 16:5-6, “Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, surely I have a delightful inheritance.”

The sense of contentment brims over and has spilled on me. I learned to look at my own lot and care for it, and thank Him for the boundaries and limitations that He has—for want of a better word—imposed on me.

I could spend my time looking enviously over the other side of the fence, seeing my neighbor tend her garden and admire her blooms. That would mean my own garden would be untended—weeds would grow, vines would creep uncontrolled and strangle the other plants, worms would have their feast on every green leaf in sight, while other plants die of thirst. Then the other side of the fence would truly be greener.

It helps to know that God apportions our respective lot with wisdom and an intimate knowledge of who we are and how we can turn out to be. Once in a while, I look over the admire and allow a twinge of envy, but then I move back and work on my own lot. I survey what my lot looks like and so far, it's been good—despite, or I should say, because of, the boundaries God has blessed me with.

Beautiful Mati

A few months back, I joined a team from my church to a medical and dental outreach conducted in a fishing community somewhere in Mati, Davao Oriental. It was great to be able to extend help to a needy community for two days, this was a real treat--and the fringe benefit was also great: an afternoon in a small uninhabited island across the fishing village. The view was so beautiful that it inspired the 'artist' in me...so below are a couple of my amateur attempts at capturing what I find hard to put into words. :)

Jenga!

If you want to win in a game of Jenga, the first thing you need to make sure is that you don’t play against obsessive compulsive friends. This happened to me--and being so NOT obsessive compulsive myself, I often ended up screaming my lungs out when I see the tower leaning unstoppably towards a topple on my watch.

Funny how much a game tells you about yourself—and your friends! My three friends’ obsessive compulsive tendencies became obvious as they slowly circle around the Jenga tower, angle their heads left to right, up and down--to analyze which piece to move, then touch and poke gently to make sure they choose the right piece, and patiently tap on the piece they finally decide to move until it falls off.

I, on the other hand, touch and poke from where I’m sitting. I don’t get up and go to the other side of the tower—it never occurred to me that there could be other possibilities that might make themselves obvious from another angle—then I pry as patiently as I can manage (a feat!), whichever piece of wood that’s relatively loose. Of course, my patience snaps and I give the piece a not so gentle tug and voila! the earth’s gravity wins.

Patience, gentleness and attention to detail is the key to winning--and making sure to play the game on a solid table standing on solid cement floor.

But hey, it has to topple over some time, right? So why not do the honors and ease the tension that has built up. Allow your friends the luxury of a good long scream as they witness the tower topple in slow motion. Added bonus would be helping them remember their need for oxygen.

After all, winning isn’t everything, right? What counts is being kind and considerate (ahem).

The Passage of Time

Time flies.
Time heals all wounds.
Time waits for no man.
Time’s up.

Time. What a precious, precious commodity. It can be either frighteningly flitting or agonizingly slow.

There are times when I wish I could grab time by it’s tail and will it to stand still or go back, even just for a moment and allow me to restore relationships that have been neglected, change the way I acted on certain occasions and erase regrets, soak in precious moments just a little bit more before it is finally over.

Then reality sets in: time does not stand still, even if at times it seems to. It can be merciless, resolute in moving on for everyone. Leaving us with a trail of memories that are either agonizingly vivid or regrettably hazy.

But time also reproduces itself, giving us a new day, new hopes, new chances, new opportunities—to heal, to reach out, to change, to grab hold of, to enjoy, to be blessed. Mercifully, memories left behind can be hazy for those moments we need to forget so we can move on, and vivid for joys that are refreshing to remember.

As time moves on, I hope to keep in step with it…appreciating the fact that it is precious and that it does bring us nearer to a place where time will no longer matter.

Wheeee! Wifi!

Oh Joy!! Finally! A decent-paced wifi connection at NCCC Mall here in Matina,Davao. And you can imagine how much of a joy this is after four agonizing days of snail-paced connection? My brother told me at dinner about this strong wifi connection from what he read in the local newspapers and off I went, with family in tow. I managed to convince them they needed to do some grocery shopping. And so off we went!

So here I am doing all I need to get done, downloading my emails, replying to them, chatting with a friend, moderating my blog comments, etc etc...Wheeee! All these while sitted at a bench and my laptop on my lap (for a change). Since Christmas set me back quite a bit in finance, I sure am glad I can just sit on a bench and do my email without the obligatory cup of latte.

Ahh, what would one do without internet connection...come to think of it, what can one do with SLOW wifi connection??

Wish that Taiwan earthquake-caused communication problem gets worked out soon, or else...(shudder!)

Hi's and Lo's in Bacolod

Beguiled in Bacolod
*10pm, December 28, 2007

I feel like blogging tonight…too bad wifi is not available in the pension house that I am staying in here in Bacolod, and for those who know me, being off line for two straight days is a big deal! Surprisingly, I’m not too bothered about it, because there were three things that set me in a great mood:

1. Being treated with big, oh-so-fresh, melts in the mouth oysters (along with barbequed chicken) for lunch and dinner. And I am hopping for the whole seafood galore tomorrow!

2. Enjoying the light drizzle for the past two days while walking to the conference site. Haven’t done that in a long time so that was great, especially coming from oppressively hot Davao.

3. Last but not the least, the disarming Bacolodnons! From they’re cute, lilting accents that convey a sense of fondness for anyone they talk to, even strangers, and I get the feeling that for most of the time, its real and not put on. They have one of the rarest species known to man: the nice and courteous taxi driver.

Definitely a place worth coming back to.

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Tortured in Transit
*8am, December 30, 2007

I was supposed to wake up all set to leave Bacolod this morning. I was—but not with a full-blown fever! My companion who came with me at this conference in Bacolod is not in her best condition herself—tummy problems and she suspects Amoebeasis.

I seldom get sick so I wondered if it was the 1 1/2 heaping servings of oysters I finished off the night before, or the fact that I gallivanted around rainy Bacolod in true Davaoeño fashion, (ie. sans umbrella) thereby finding myself soaking wet half the time.

So there I was with my friend, Loida, experiencing agony with a capital “A” as we waited for the lady in the Cebu Pacific counter to issue our boarding passes. And for the life of me, I had no idea took her soooo excruciatingly long to issue them, did she have to compose an essay of how we should get from Bacolod to Davao via Cebu? Or was she using old-fashioned Morse code to transmit to Cebu our names for the transfer?! Aaargh!!!! There were a couple of reasons that kept me from being downright nasty: the fact that I was too weak, and the fact that Bacolodnons have a sweet way of talking to you that keeps you from being rude to them, no matter how agonizingly amoeba-paced their service was.

As if that wasn’t enough, the flight from Cebu to Davao was delayed as well, and there we were in the departure lounge, Loida and I, she doubled over because of stomach pains while I was almost flat on my back on the lounge chair, finding some comfortable position to support my stuffy head. I am sure people are walking around were clucking their tongues and wondering what these two silly girls were up to the night before..oh well, at that point, I didn’t care what people were thinking, I just wanted to get home!

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Oh, well, life and its hi’s and lows.

Thanks, all for dropping by my blog. May you embrace both the high’s and the low’s of the coming year and allow them to enrich your life!

Alphabetically Thankful

I think the best way to cap the year is to give thanks for all that has happened, good or bad. I could just give a general thanks but that would rob me of the joy of identifying specific things I am thankful to God for, so here goes…

A – Apple. I had a wonderful three-year relationship with my iBook before he called it quits this year. Well, it was fun while it lasted…thanks anyway for the great experience.

B – Blogging! I discovered the joy of blogging last March and never regretted it. It has helped me in my writing skills (though I still have trouble with my prepositions) and also in becoming more perceptive about things that concern me.

C – CK, my 4-month old Toshiba laptop, despite its bulk, it is serving me well...I'm hoping this relationship will last a bit longer...

D – Davao. It’s great to spend a few months home on Sabbatical from work in Manila. There’s no place like home, and what a place to call home!

E – Emails. The long, windy and intimate ones I receive assures me that friends who are far away doesn’t mean they've become strangers.

F – Fellowship. Even though I value my alone time. I am thankful for friends I can fellowship with in a deeper level.

G – God’s Word. Not just anybody’s words, but His, most especially and most essentially. There are times when I feel like I'm tossed in restless waves of angst and confusion, His Word anchors me.

H – Home. These days I am hard put to figure out where home is, but it’s great to realize that where one’s mom is, there your home can be also. It is good to be home with my mom even if it's just for half a year. It isn’t always sunshiny sweet, but it is still a restful to be able to leave the adult rat race once in a while and simply be somebody’s child again.

I – Inexpensive Airfares. It is such a great thing that budget airlines are in vogue these days. I get to travel without having my organization pay so much!

J – Jesus, the friend who loves at all times, forgives at all times and believes in me at all times.

K – Ketchup. I can never do without a packet or two of ketchup in my bag, and it has come in handy. It’s very touching as well to know that some of my friends are collecting ketchup packets for me..now, if that's not friendship, I don't know what is!

L – Late mornings. For a change, I get to sleep in a little bit later than usual. It’s wonderful to catch up with something that has become an almost unaffordable luxury to me.

M – Music. It wakens me, grips me, inspires me, and gladdens me. What would the world be without music?

N – Nighttime Musings. Since I am nocturnal by nature, inspiration usually hits when I am laying in bed, hoping to catch some sleep.

O – Opportunities. Some of the opportunities that come my way have been unbelievable, frankly speaking. I am just thankful that I have been given these opportunities…it could have easily gone to other more qualified people.

P – Provision. Living by faith as a Christian worker sounds grand but it can be “hairy” sometimes. When I am in a tight squeeze, I wonder how I will be provided for and God never fails to show me how, in His wonderful and unexpected way.

Q – Quiche. A good friend bakes spinach quiche for me and I'm glad she still makes it for me when I am really hankering for it.

R – Regrets. I have been thinking of things I have done in the past that I shouldn’t have. I know that they cannot be undone, but for what its worth, I can learn from them as I move on.

S – Silence. Those rare blocks of time when the only sound I hear is silence. I so need those times to just be quiet and hear myself think.

T – Travels. Being on the road has a lot of perks, from enjoying nice roadside scenes to meeting new people.

U – Unlimited Wi Fi Access. I get to enjoy this while in Davao, and really savoring it as long as I can, ‘cause when I get back to Manila, it will be back to the old dial-up drudgery...on second thought...I’m not sure this is something I should be thankful for...

V – Vacations—I mean mini ones. I can’t usually afford to be away from work for two straight weeks but the pockets of rest I get in between whenever has been helpful. But I hope to get a full two-week break next year…

W – Words. I love words. I love the fact that I don’t have to hold everything in...and that I have words to use to express my feelings and ideas.

X – Xasperations...minor ones, at least, like the neighbor’s 11pm to 3am drunken and frighteningly tone-deaf videoke sessions. I am not exactly sure why I should be thankful about it...maybe just to fill the letter X?

Y – Yahoo Messenger. Some of the friends on the list are hundred of miles away, but just to see them on line while I am working is great—it’s like their just working beside me.

Z – Zany humor (I know, a bit stretching it just to put something on “Z”). I thank God for giving me this gift, helps keeps me sane in trying moments.

So, how was your year?

Sleep Eludes Us

Cocooned
In the warmth of my bed

Silence broken
By rhythmic, reassuring cricket hymns

Staring up at the ceiling
Seeing dancing shadows from passing lights

Sleep eludes me
Images and noise stir my mind

Of men, women and children,
Shivering on scant, damp mats

Shrills fill the air
of babies’ wails and mothers’ weeping

Squinting at harsh lights
Glaring from above thin rusty roofs

Sleep eludes them
No comfort, no shelter, only grief of buried lives
And fear of another storm

Sleep eludes us
As sadness engulfs.

The Bliss of Getting There

The whole point of traveling is to get “there.” Not for me, especially when I’m on my way to Bukidnon! The travel is as much a joy as the destination point. I always get refreshed from the four-hour (by bus) or three-hour (by private transport) travel just staring out at the wide open spaces, brilliant blue skies, rolling hills in different shades of green and the awesome mountains.

One of things that always come to mind as I take that scenic route to Bukidnon is, “The people who live here are sooo lucky!” But what I always see when I look out the bus window, are people seemingly blasé about the view from their windows (a view that would actually beat any ol’ calendar picture). In fact, many of them can be found hanging around by the side of the road, looking out to buses and cars that pass by, instead of staring out at the green expanse behind them...how ironic is that!

But I guess too much of a good thing leads to boredom…and too little of a good thing leads to giddiness (when faced with the good things).

And I guess the oohhs and the aaahhs that come out of me are simply because staying in Manila meant I only get to “admire” soot-blackened, run-down buildings, murky grey skies and cramp spaces.

But if that makes me more appreciative of God’s creation—far from being blasé, then I guess staying in Manila has its benefits…I know, I know it’s a warped way of looking at the bright side, but hey, I have to find some good out of staying in Manila...instead of Bukidnon.

Will I or Won't I Miss My Flight?

I started the year missing a flight. I rushed to the airport in January to catch the morning flight back to Manila...and found out when I was at the counter that my flight was yesterday.

Middle of the year, I was dawdling around Changi Airport in Singapore and happened to check my flight sched then made a mad rush to the departure lounge (see one of my previous blog entries) thinking I was going to miss my flight again! I didn't...just read my boarding time wrong...can't get those military time computed right..duh!

Coming back to Manila from Davao first week of November, I only realized the night before that my flight was three hours earlier than I thought...an almost missed flight! Good thing a friend who knew about my January blooper texted me and teased me about checking my flight sched the night before...

Now am all packed up and psyched up to fly home to Davao from Manila this afternoon via Cebu Pacific. And what do you know, the typhoon that's bashing Southern Luzon big time is heading north! Flights with PAL and smaller aircrafts have already been cancelled....today of all days.

I seem to pick up a pattern here...

Will I miss this flight? Will see...

PS. I did make it home..Hurray! :)

Of Personalities and Temperaments

A couple of weeks ago, I joined a training where we took a Myers Briggs personality test. I’ve done that a couple of times in the past and have already known I was an “E” as in extroverted (why else would I choose to blog rather than write on a paper journal?!) but forgot the rest.

Well, now I’m reminded: I’m an ENTJ.

E means Extroverted. No surprise there! Though this doesn’t mean that I need to always be around people…I still long for “alone” times, moments when I can be my own person and not have to worry about the needs or cares of others, moments when I can just spend time with myself and my thoughts.

N means iNtuitive, that is someone who sees the forest and not just the trees. I know the value of details…as long as they lead to a bigger picture, or a valid point. The material we were given also says it is someone who tends to “work in bursts of energy powered by enthusiasm with slack periods in between.” Hah! That sounds exactly like me.



T means Thinking. I do get accused of analyzing things too much. Although the material says Thinking people tend to “hurt people’s feelings without knowing,” I would like to think that my extroverted nature balances this off with an awareness of people’s reactions and feelings. I may fumble a bit with diplomacy…but not for lack of trying!

J means Judging—but not the way people use the term! Judging types are people who tend to be satisfied only once a decision or judgment is made. It also says that Judging types tend to “decide things too quickly”...and with the number of “ooops” I have committed in my life, I guess that’s very true!

On the whole it might sound pretty intimidating but I wonder, really, if this is the true me…I wonder too if, aside from the “E,” the NTJ are only because I‘m an E?? That is, could the rest of my personality be because I am externally motivated? Maybe I do have a alter ego! What I do know is that if I’ve no responsibilities, I could be a really good bum, one who might actually make it to the Guinness Book of World Records for spending the longest number of hours watching TV…a professional couch potato! Oh, wow, that may sound pathetic so I’m really thankful I have friends who will make sure this won’t happen…sigh!

What’s yours? Check your personality type out!

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE

Move over, Ethan Hunt!

La Vida Loca!

When I went to Singapore to study some years ago, the first letter I got from home was from a guy friend, and he wrote:

“I actually was planning to court you, but I had a hard time keeping track of where you were, so I finally gave up…”

In one of the places I’ve stayed for a couple of years, which I am hardly ever in, the caretaker jokingly asked me once when I came home,

“Why are you home?”

Last week, while I was in the middle of a messy bedroom, with clothes and other stuff strewn all over the place, figuring out what to put into my luggage, my sister-in-law came in and asked,

“Are you coming or going?”

Story of my life.

Since graduating from college, I've never spent more than three years in one place. And when I do stay in one place, I end up traveling so much I’m hardly ever home!

People who wander into my bedroom or office would notice one thing: it has no personal touch. A good friend has set me straight since, “…make yourself at home wherever you are! Don’t let it look like a hotel or an anonymous workplace! No wonder you are stressed out...how can you relax if you don’t feel at home?” The proof that I have indeed followed this advice is the number of plants I have sent to heaven.

Am I complaining? No way! This gypsy life may have had its “dire” consequences and inconveniences, like maybe losing a potential husband to someone else (Hah!)and losing stuff as I move from place to place (I have yet to master the art of packing..as photo on the left shows). But no regrets.

This life has brought me to places I've never dreamed I'd go to, given me experiences so exciting that I wouldn’t mind going through them again and brought me into relationships that are more precious than any material thing I can think of.

Next year, I might just move again. Now if only I can work out how to pack…

25 Personal Questions To Muddle Your Heart and Mind With

...and everyone on my blogroll is tagged!

1. What would the title of your autobiography be?
Square Peg in a Round Hole: How to Fit in and Still be Unique

2 Which actress would best play you in the film of your life?
Zhang Ziyi (ahem.)

3 If you were a country, which one would you be?
Still the Philippines!

4 If your philosophy in life could be summarized on a car sticker, what would it say?
Love Life!

5 If you could choose your own nickname, what would it be?
Gypsy

6 If people used your name as a verb, what would it be for? (as in he did a sarah last weekend)
Making a witty comeback

7 If you had your 15 minutes of fame, what would it be for?
Writing a Revolutionary Children’s Book that will inspire kids everywhere to reach out to people, whatever color their skin is.

8 If you could be a fictional character, who would you be?
Eowyn of the Lord of the Rings

9 What three qualities in a man would be essential for him to quality as the love of your life?
An Analytical Mind
Courage
Integrity

10 Which TV character do you most identify with?
None, though I most admire Jack Bauer of 24

11 How would you describe yourself in a lonely hearts ad?
I won't put an ad there in the first place...

12 If you could be an animal, what creature would be?
A cross between a cat and a dolphin

13 In what era do you belong?
80’s (sans the fashion!)

14 When someone asks you, What do you do? What would you like to be able to say?
I am a host of a travel show.

15 Which fashion designer epitomizes your sense of style?
Calvin Klein

16 What car would you be?
The Old Volkswagen Beetle

17 What season is most like you?
Summer

18 Where are you in life’s swimming pool? In the deep or shallow end, floating, sinking, on the diving board or in the changing room?
Either floating on the deep end or on the diving board

19 What song sums you up best?
“Jesus Loves Me, This I Know”

20 What flower would you be?
Sunflower

21 What are your 3 best qualities?
Making people laugh
Putting stuff into words
Self-reliance

22 What 3 words would your detractors use about you? What 3 words would your friends use about you? Who do you agree with?
Detractors might say: Too Direct; Too Quick to Judge; Emotional
Friends might say: Honest, Reliable, Loyal
I agree with everyone of them.

23 Which of the 7 deadly sins are you most likely to commit?
Glutonny! Help!

24 What famous person, past or present, would most enjoy your company?
Gary Valenciano...and I hope he gets to read this!

25 When & where were you the happiest you've ever been in your life?
Early 90’s, while working at an Indochinese Refugee Camp in Bataan, Northern Philippines.

Marang, Bay!

What’s that smell?

Whoa! there it is again! Whew!

What other fruit would give such a strong olfactory impression other than the (in)famous durian? Everywhere you go now in Davao, and many other cities in Mindanao, you see them precariously piled high in all their thorny splendour. If the aroma is not a scent to behold for you, then maybe the sight does! Not many fruits look as interesting as a durian—and that’s why it gets a lot of attention--and loyalty from fellow Mindanaoans.

So, I am afraid that I have been subjected to much persecution because I dare to admit that I don’t eat durian. I like Marang better—that declaration should be enough to assure people that I am still very much a true blue Mindanaoan, but no, sir, it doesn’t!

I don’t understand why the lowly Marang is overlooked and underrated. Hey if you give the Marang a chance, you’ll realize that it has better qualities than the overrated durian!

Firstly, its just as odd-looking as the durian but not as harmful. If you accidentally drop a Marang on your foot, you’ll be a bit sticky but you’re okey--but if it’s a durian….(never mind, don’t want to get into too much gore here.)

Secondly, its aroma is definitely not going to make you wrinkle your nose or (to some others) violently sick. Its mild scent invites people to come and savor it, unlike the durian who boldly proclaims its aroma (or odor, depends who’s smelling) but delivers quite a different taste.

Thirdly, check out its mild, sweet taste! Why go for the bitter zing when life’s already giving you heaps of that? Just let the Marang's sweet taste melt in your mouth and you’re in 7th heaven.

Fourthly, with Marang, nobody’s going to run away when you suddenly burp! While the durian has been known to break up marriages…(alright! temporarily, at least..!)

May the Marang get better press from now on, it deserves the honor!

Where I Lay My Head

*written October 11 in GenSan

I just woke up from the third bed I’ve slept in since I came to Gen San 7 days ago…another new bed, well-slept. If I were asked to count how many beds I’ve slept in since I left home to work, I would never be able to tell!

My six-month stay in Thailand a couple of years ago is pretty much a description of my life: wandering from one place to another by plane, train, tuktuk and car and sleeping in a grand total of 36 beds.

I’ve slept on a rock-hard mattress on the floor, on a lopsided bed ready to collapse anytime, on an upper bunk of a very shaky bunk bed (look ma, no railings!), on a rickety bed of a chugging train, in a sleeping bag on a breezy bamboo floor, on a lovely, firm queen-sized bed. I’ve slept on a bed with a bat hanging upside down above it. I’ve slept on a bed possessively claimed by the owner’s cat. I’ve slept on a bed with a lizard crawling up my leg in the middle of the night.

Having slept on so many beds, you’d think I can sleep well anywhere. How I wish that were true! The thing is, along with the different beds, comes different situations, different conditions and so, different sleep.

In all this time, I can only remember one particular bed on which I not only had wonderful, deep restful sleep, but also the most fantastic Technicolor dreams that leave me with a wonderful feeling when I woke up! I told my host this and she said that she prays over her guest room—that the Lord will grant anyone who uses that room good, restful sleep. Isn’t that a wonderful thing! But then, that was just for three days...and then I had to move on to another city, and another bed.

It must be nice to sleep on just one comfortable, sturdy, queen-sized bed for the rest of your life—a bed I can often come home to---my own. A bed I can dream dreams in, a bed I can lie down on happily falling asleep as I see my dreams fulfilled. A bed that I can fall asleep crying on, like a close friend’s shoulder and wake up comforted. There’s no one bed who has seen me through all my good and bad days—no bed I have shared lots of memories with.

Interestingly, one Man had it worse! He said, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”( Matthew 8:20)

Not an easy thing, to follow such a Master. But I am looking forward to one day having my own bed, enjoying good rest and the Master’s presence forever.

That Off Line Feeling

I'm hanging out at my aunt's place in Gen San the past two days and its been pretty laid back, just the pace I like my vacations to be. But what was really curious was my reaction when I found out they had DSL!

You see, I had been in Gen San for about a week already, but the first few days, I was holding a workshop and staying in a place where the outside world was only accessible either by my cellphone or by tricycle. When my hosts mentioned this, I was quite cool about it. In fact, I thought, this would be great since it will give me a chance to just disconnect and focus on the workshop plus throw in some retreat time for myself. Well, the 4-day stay went quickly enough and I was pretty proud of myself for staying nonchalantly disconnected all that time.

Until I got to my Aunt's place...with the workshop done and nothing else to focus on but thoughts of next week's work schedule...I started to get that "I-must-get-on-line" feeling. I wondered when the twicthy feeling would pass since I was almost positive that I would have to stay off-line for a few more days--since I assumed that my Aunt didnt know a thing about going on line--until I saw their computer and my cousin typing away on it...and ventured to ask the all-important question, "Do you have DSL?"

The feeling I had must be similar to that of a coke addict finally taking a hit after days of trying to stay clean...hmmm...not a pleasant comparison, but I have to admit that this has become sort of an addiction. Sigh.

So here I am on-line, relief flowing through my veins as I checked my inbox and answered all the important(?) emails. I had thought I would simply spend my time at my aunt's place resting and enjoying "other stuff" that being off line would bring me. So I am not sure this is a good thing...being on line that is.

I hope I can go off-line after this...though I would'nt bet on it...would somebody please start a webaholic anonymous group???? On line???

Babel-Tongued

“Di tsai iya ba kung asa ang pinakalami nga restaurant dito sa Davao?”
“Ay, hindi ko baya alam, better siguro kung di khi m’ng Bebbs na lang.”

If you are not a Cebuano-speaking, Davao-born Chinese, you would be scratching your head, wondering what the above gibberish is all about. You might be able to guess part of it, but would be hard pressed to figure what language it is exactly.

Well, there’s no name to it, but just to say that the above exchange is a concoction of 4 languages: Hokkien, Cebuano, English, Tagalog. It can get more complicated than that, depending on who you talk to, what region you are in and what context.

I guess if you are an overseas born whatever—Chinese, Indian, Filipino…etc. etc., you’d end up becoming as linguistically mixed up as I am. People are so impressed that I speak 5 or so languages (throw in Cantonese to the above list)...what they don’t realize is that I am a jill-of-all-trades but a mistress of none: I am not fluent in any of them!

To my shame, I can only say that the language I am most comfortable with speaking and writing in, is English. Shame because that shouldn’t be…my ethnicity is Cantonese Chinese, so why can’t I be identified as such in my speech?

But the world has grown much more complicated than that.

Globalization has done a lot of good things for the world, but then it also has its setbacks…like producing mixed-up people (yours truly as Exhibit A) who don’t exactly know who they are, and where they belong.

Finding my center in Christ has been a real relief for me—this has helped me celebrate instead of denigrate my uniquely blended identity (and embrace the eccentricities that come with it!). His truth has somehow helped me identify and (try to) live out the best of who I am….obviously a lot of tweaking is still called for, but I am thankful that He has given me an identity that I can hold on to.

Simple Life, Simple Problems

Locker Room Wisdom

The only thing I had expected to gain from going to the gym was fitness. Little did I realize that there was much more to gain, like advices you get or overhear in the locker room. Some are wacky, some ironic, some true but all are interesting, to say the least. Here’s some I’ve picked up…(you supply the comments)

1. To gain your ideal weight, eat only meat buns for one whole week.
2. The best (and cheapest) steak in town is just a block away from the gym (tip from one of the gym instructors).
3. Instead of eating chocolates when you’re hungry, try bananas.
4. Exercise more so your husband won’t go looking for another woman.
5. You must look stylish while you exercise…buy these exercise costumes from me!
6. When you exercise a lot, you’ll be so addicted to it that you'll look for it everyday.
7. Gym instructors usually punish you on Mondays with high impact exercises for your lazy, pig-out weekends.
8. Manang (Big Sister) Alma, the cleaning lady, sells the best bibingka (rice cakes).
9. The thin ones are often addicted to exercise...the fat ones have to drag themselves to the gym!
10. You must wear bras with maximum support if you are going to jump up and down at aero!