I think the best way to cap the year is to give thanks for all that has happened, good or bad. I could just give a general thanks but that would rob me of the joy of identifying specific things I am thankful to God for, so here goes…
A – Apple. I had a wonderful three-year relationship with my iBook before he called it quits this year. Well, it was fun while it lasted…thanks anyway for the great experience.
B – Blogging! I discovered the joy of blogging last March and never regretted it. It has helped me in my writing skills (though I still have trouble with my prepositions) and also in becoming more perceptive about things that concern me.
C – CK, my 4-month old Toshiba laptop, despite its bulk, it is serving me well...I'm hoping this relationship will last a bit longer...
D – Davao. It’s great to spend a few months home on Sabbatical from work in Manila. There’s no place like home, and what a place to call home!
E – Emails. The long, windy and intimate ones I receive assures me that friends who are far away doesn’t mean they've become strangers.
F – Fellowship. Even though I value my alone time. I am thankful for friends I can fellowship with in a deeper level.
G – God’s Word. Not just anybody’s words, but His, most especially and most essentially. There are times when I feel like I'm tossed in restless waves of angst and confusion, His Word anchors me.
H – Home. These days I am hard put to figure out where home is, but it’s great to realize that where one’s mom is, there your home can be also. It is good to be home with my mom even if it's just for half a year. It isn’t always sunshiny sweet, but it is still a restful to be able to leave the adult rat race once in a while and simply be somebody’s child again.
I – Inexpensive Airfares. It is such a great thing that budget airlines are in vogue these days. I get to travel without having my organization pay so much!
J – Jesus, the friend who loves at all times, forgives at all times and believes in me at all times.
K – Ketchup. I can never do without a packet or two of ketchup in my bag, and it has come in handy. It’s very touching as well to know that some of my friends are collecting ketchup packets for me..now, if that's not friendship, I don't know what is!
L – Late mornings. For a change, I get to sleep in a little bit later than usual. It’s wonderful to catch up with something that has become an almost unaffordable luxury to me.
M – Music. It wakens me, grips me, inspires me, and gladdens me. What would the world be without music?
N – Nighttime Musings. Since I am nocturnal by nature, inspiration usually hits when I am laying in bed, hoping to catch some sleep.
O – Opportunities. Some of the opportunities that come my way have been unbelievable, frankly speaking. I am just thankful that I have been given these opportunities…it could have easily gone to other more qualified people.
P – Provision. Living by faith as a Christian worker sounds grand but it can be “hairy” sometimes. When I am in a tight squeeze, I wonder how I will be provided for and God never fails to show me how, in His wonderful and unexpected way.
Q – Quiche. A good friend bakes spinach quiche for me and I'm glad she still makes it for me when I am really hankering for it.
R – Regrets. I have been thinking of things I have done in the past that I shouldn’t have. I know that they cannot be undone, but for what its worth, I can learn from them as I move on.
S – Silence. Those rare blocks of time when the only sound I hear is silence. I so need those times to just be quiet and hear myself think.
T – Travels. Being on the road has a lot of perks, from enjoying nice roadside scenes to meeting new people.
U – Unlimited Wi Fi Access. I get to enjoy this while in Davao, and really savoring it as long as I can, ‘cause when I get back to Manila, it will be back to the old dial-up drudgery...on second thought...I’m not sure this is something I should be thankful for...
V – Vacations—I mean mini ones. I can’t usually afford to be away from work for two straight weeks but the pockets of rest I get in between whenever has been helpful. But I hope to get a full two-week break next year…
W – Words. I love words. I love the fact that I don’t have to hold everything in...and that I have words to use to express my feelings and ideas.
X – Xasperations...minor ones, at least, like the neighbor’s 11pm to 3am drunken and frighteningly tone-deaf videoke sessions. I am not exactly sure why I should be thankful about it...maybe just to fill the letter X?
Y – Yahoo Messenger. Some of the friends on the list are hundred of miles away, but just to see them on line while I am working is great—it’s like their just working beside me.
Z – Zany humor (I know, a bit stretching it just to put something on “Z”). I thank God for giving me this gift, helps keeps me sane in trying moments.
So, how was your year?
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
Sleep Eludes Us
Cocooned
In the warmth of my bed
Silence broken
By rhythmic, reassuring cricket hymns
Staring up at the ceiling
Seeing dancing shadows from passing lights
Sleep eludes me
Images and noise stir my mind
Of men, women and children,
Shivering on scant, damp mats
Shrills fill the air
of babies’ wails and mothers’ weeping
Squinting at harsh lights
Glaring from above thin rusty roofs
Sleep eludes them
No comfort, no shelter, only grief of buried lives
And fear of another storm
Sleep eludes us
As sadness engulfs.
In the warmth of my bed
Silence broken
By rhythmic, reassuring cricket hymns
Staring up at the ceiling
Seeing dancing shadows from passing lights
Sleep eludes me
Images and noise stir my mind
Of men, women and children,
Shivering on scant, damp mats
Shrills fill the air
of babies’ wails and mothers’ weeping
Squinting at harsh lights
Glaring from above thin rusty roofs
Sleep eludes them
No comfort, no shelter, only grief of buried lives
And fear of another storm
Sleep eludes us
As sadness engulfs.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
The Bliss of Getting There
The whole point of traveling is to get “there.” Not for me, especially when I’m on my way to Bukidnon! The travel is as much a joy as the destination point. I always get refreshed from the four-hour (by bus) or three-hour (by private transport) travel just staring out at the wide open spaces, brilliant blue skies, rolling hills in different shades of green and the awesome mountains.
One of things that always come to mind as I take that scenic route to Bukidnon is, “The people who live here are sooo lucky!” But what I always see when I look out the bus window, are people seemingly blasé about the view from their windows (a view that would actually beat any ol’ calendar picture). In fact, many of them can be found hanging around by the side of the road, looking out to buses and cars that pass by, instead of staring out at the green expanse behind them...how ironic is that!
But I guess too much of a good thing leads to boredom…and too little of a good thing leads to giddiness (when faced with the good things).
And I guess the oohhs and the aaahhs that come out of me are simply because staying in Manila meant I only get to “admire” soot-blackened, run-down buildings, murky grey skies and cramp spaces.
But if that makes me more appreciative of God’s creation—far from being blasé, then I guess staying in Manila has its benefits…I know, I know it’s a warped way of looking at the bright side, but hey, I have to find some good out of staying in Manila...instead of Bukidnon.
One of things that always come to mind as I take that scenic route to Bukidnon is, “The people who live here are sooo lucky!” But what I always see when I look out the bus window, are people seemingly blasé about the view from their windows (a view that would actually beat any ol’ calendar picture). In fact, many of them can be found hanging around by the side of the road, looking out to buses and cars that pass by, instead of staring out at the green expanse behind them...how ironic is that!
But I guess too much of a good thing leads to boredom…and too little of a good thing leads to giddiness (when faced with the good things).
And I guess the oohhs and the aaahhs that come out of me are simply because staying in Manila meant I only get to “admire” soot-blackened, run-down buildings, murky grey skies and cramp spaces.
But if that makes me more appreciative of God’s creation—far from being blasé, then I guess staying in Manila has its benefits…I know, I know it’s a warped way of looking at the bright side, but hey, I have to find some good out of staying in Manila...instead of Bukidnon.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Will I or Won't I Miss My Flight?
I started the year missing a flight. I rushed to the airport in January to catch the morning flight back to Manila...and found out when I was at the counter that my flight was yesterday.
Middle of the year, I was dawdling around Changi Airport in Singapore and happened to check my flight sched then made a mad rush to the departure lounge (see one of my previous blog entries) thinking I was going to miss my flight again! I didn't...just read my boarding time wrong...can't get those military time computed right..duh!
Coming back to Manila from Davao first week of November, I only realized the night before that my flight was three hours earlier than I thought...an almost missed flight! Good thing a friend who knew about my January blooper texted me and teased me about checking my flight sched the night before...
Now am all packed up and psyched up to fly home to Davao from Manila this afternoon via Cebu Pacific. And what do you know, the typhoon that's bashing Southern Luzon big time is heading north! Flights with PAL and smaller aircrafts have already been cancelled....today of all days.
I seem to pick up a pattern here...
Will I miss this flight? Will see...
PS. I did make it home..Hurray! :)
Middle of the year, I was dawdling around Changi Airport in Singapore and happened to check my flight sched then made a mad rush to the departure lounge (see one of my previous blog entries) thinking I was going to miss my flight again! I didn't...just read my boarding time wrong...can't get those military time computed right..duh!
Coming back to Manila from Davao first week of November, I only realized the night before that my flight was three hours earlier than I thought...an almost missed flight! Good thing a friend who knew about my January blooper texted me and teased me about checking my flight sched the night before...
Now am all packed up and psyched up to fly home to Davao from Manila this afternoon via Cebu Pacific. And what do you know, the typhoon that's bashing Southern Luzon big time is heading north! Flights with PAL and smaller aircrafts have already been cancelled....today of all days.
I seem to pick up a pattern here...
Will I miss this flight? Will see...
PS. I did make it home..Hurray! :)
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Of Personalities and Temperaments
A couple of weeks ago, I joined a training where we took a Myers Briggs personality test. I’ve done that a couple of times in the past and have already known I was an “E” as in extroverted (why else would I choose to blog rather than write on a paper journal?!) but forgot the rest.
Well, now I’m reminded: I’m an ENTJ.
E means Extroverted. No surprise there! Though this doesn’t mean that I need to always be around people…I still long for “alone” times, moments when I can be my own person and not have to worry about the needs or cares of others, moments when I can just spend time with myself and my thoughts.
N means iNtuitive, that is someone who sees the forest and not just the trees. I know the value of details…as long as they lead to a bigger picture, or a valid point. The material we were given also says it is someone who tends to “work in bursts of energy powered by enthusiasm with slack periods in between.” Hah! That sounds exactly like me.
T means Thinking. I do get accused of analyzing things too much. Although the material says Thinking people tend to “hurt people’s feelings without knowing,” I would like to think that my extroverted nature balances this off with an awareness of people’s reactions and feelings. I may fumble a bit with diplomacy…but not for lack of trying!
J means Judging—but not the way people use the term! Judging types are people who tend to be satisfied only once a decision or judgment is made. It also says that Judging types tend to “decide things too quickly”...and with the number of “ooops” I have committed in my life, I guess that’s very true!
On the whole it might sound pretty intimidating but I wonder, really, if this is the true me…I wonder too if, aside from the “E,” the NTJ are only because I‘m an E?? That is, could the rest of my personality be because I am externally motivated? Maybe I do have a alter ego! What I do know is that if I’ve no responsibilities, I could be a really good bum, one who might actually make it to the Guinness Book of World Records for spending the longest number of hours watching TV…a professional couch potato! Oh, wow, that may sound pathetic so I’m really thankful I have friends who will make sure this won’t happen…sigh!
What’s yours? Check your personality type out!
Well, now I’m reminded: I’m an ENTJ.
E means Extroverted. No surprise there! Though this doesn’t mean that I need to always be around people…I still long for “alone” times, moments when I can be my own person and not have to worry about the needs or cares of others, moments when I can just spend time with myself and my thoughts.
N means iNtuitive, that is someone who sees the forest and not just the trees. I know the value of details…as long as they lead to a bigger picture, or a valid point. The material we were given also says it is someone who tends to “work in bursts of energy powered by enthusiasm with slack periods in between.” Hah! That sounds exactly like me.
T means Thinking. I do get accused of analyzing things too much. Although the material says Thinking people tend to “hurt people’s feelings without knowing,” I would like to think that my extroverted nature balances this off with an awareness of people’s reactions and feelings. I may fumble a bit with diplomacy…but not for lack of trying!
J means Judging—but not the way people use the term! Judging types are people who tend to be satisfied only once a decision or judgment is made. It also says that Judging types tend to “decide things too quickly”...and with the number of “ooops” I have committed in my life, I guess that’s very true!
On the whole it might sound pretty intimidating but I wonder, really, if this is the true me…I wonder too if, aside from the “E,” the NTJ are only because I‘m an E?? That is, could the rest of my personality be because I am externally motivated? Maybe I do have a alter ego! What I do know is that if I’ve no responsibilities, I could be a really good bum, one who might actually make it to the Guinness Book of World Records for spending the longest number of hours watching TV…a professional couch potato! Oh, wow, that may sound pathetic so I’m really thankful I have friends who will make sure this won’t happen…sigh!
What’s yours? Check your personality type out!
Friday, November 17, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
La Vida Loca!
When I went to Singapore to study some years ago, the first letter I got from home was from a guy friend, and he wrote:
“I actually was planning to court you, but I had a hard time keeping track of where you were, so I finally gave up…”
In one of the places I’ve stayed for a couple of years, which I am hardly ever in, the caretaker jokingly asked me once when I came home,
“Why are you home?”
Last week, while I was in the middle of a messy bedroom, with clothes and other stuff strewn all over the place, figuring out what to put into my luggage, my sister-in-law came in and asked,
“Are you coming or going?”
Story of my life.
Since graduating from college, I've never spent more than three years in one place. And when I do stay in one place, I end up traveling so much I’m hardly ever home!
People who wander into my bedroom or office would notice one thing: it has no personal touch. A good friend has set me straight since, “…make yourself at home wherever you are! Don’t let it look like a hotel or an anonymous workplace! No wonder you are stressed out...how can you relax if you don’t feel at home?” The proof that I have indeed followed this advice is the number of plants I have sent to heaven.
Am I complaining? No way! This gypsy life may have had its “dire” consequences and
inconveniences, like maybe losing a potential husband to someone else (Hah!)and losing stuff as I move from place to place (I have yet to master the art of packing..as photo on the left shows). But no regrets.
This life has brought me to places I've never dreamed I'd go to, given me experiences so exciting that I wouldn’t mind going through them again and brought me into relationships that are more precious than any material thing I can think of.
Next year, I might just move again. Now if only I can work out how to pack…
“I actually was planning to court you, but I had a hard time keeping track of where you were, so I finally gave up…”
In one of the places I’ve stayed for a couple of years, which I am hardly ever in, the caretaker jokingly asked me once when I came home,
“Why are you home?”
Last week, while I was in the middle of a messy bedroom, with clothes and other stuff strewn all over the place, figuring out what to put into my luggage, my sister-in-law came in and asked,
“Are you coming or going?”
Story of my life.
Since graduating from college, I've never spent more than three years in one place. And when I do stay in one place, I end up traveling so much I’m hardly ever home!
People who wander into my bedroom or office would notice one thing: it has no personal touch. A good friend has set me straight since, “…make yourself at home wherever you are! Don’t let it look like a hotel or an anonymous workplace! No wonder you are stressed out...how can you relax if you don’t feel at home?” The proof that I have indeed followed this advice is the number of plants I have sent to heaven.
Am I complaining? No way! This gypsy life may have had its “dire” consequences and
inconveniences, like maybe losing a potential husband to someone else (Hah!)and losing stuff as I move from place to place (I have yet to master the art of packing..as photo on the left shows). But no regrets. This life has brought me to places I've never dreamed I'd go to, given me experiences so exciting that I wouldn’t mind going through them again and brought me into relationships that are more precious than any material thing I can think of.
Next year, I might just move again. Now if only I can work out how to pack…
Thursday, November 02, 2006
25 Personal Questions To Muddle Your Heart and Mind With
...and everyone on my blogroll is tagged!
1. What would the title of your autobiography be?
Square Peg in a Round Hole: How to Fit in and Still be Unique
2 Which actress would best play you in the film of your life?
Zhang Ziyi (ahem.)
3 If you were a country, which one would you be?
Still the Philippines!
4 If your philosophy in life could be summarized on a car sticker, what would it say?
Love Life!
5 If you could choose your own nickname, what would it be?
Gypsy
6 If people used your name as a verb, what would it be for? (as in he did a sarah last weekend)
Making a witty comeback
7 If you had your 15 minutes of fame, what would it be for?
Writing a Revolutionary Children’s Book that will inspire kids everywhere to reach out to people, whatever color their skin is.
8 If you could be a fictional character, who would you be?
Eowyn of the Lord of the Rings
9 What three qualities in a man would be essential for him to quality as the love of your life?
An Analytical Mind
Courage
Integrity
10 Which TV character do you most identify with?
None, though I most admire Jack Bauer of 24
11 How would you describe yourself in a lonely hearts ad?
I won't put an ad there in the first place...
12 If you could be an animal, what creature would be?
A cross between a cat and a dolphin
13 In what era do you belong?
80’s (sans the fashion!)
14 When someone asks you, What do you do? What would you like to be able to say?
I am a host of a travel show.
15 Which fashion designer epitomizes your sense of style?
Calvin Klein
16 What car would you be?
The Old Volkswagen Beetle
17 What season is most like you?
Summer
18 Where are you in life’s swimming pool? In the deep or shallow end, floating, sinking, on the diving board or in the changing room?
Either floating on the deep end or on the diving board
19 What song sums you up best?
“Jesus Loves Me, This I Know”
20 What flower would you be?
Sunflower
21 What are your 3 best qualities?
Making people laugh
Putting stuff into words
Self-reliance
22 What 3 words would your detractors use about you? What 3 words would your friends use about you? Who do you agree with?
Detractors might say: Too Direct; Too Quick to Judge; Emotional
Friends might say: Honest, Reliable, Loyal
I agree with everyone of them.
23 Which of the 7 deadly sins are you most likely to commit?
Glutonny! Help!
24 What famous person, past or present, would most enjoy your company?
Gary Valenciano...and I hope he gets to read this!
25 When & where were you the happiest you've ever been in your life?
Early 90’s, while working at an Indochinese Refugee Camp in Bataan, Northern Philippines.
1. What would the title of your autobiography be?
Square Peg in a Round Hole: How to Fit in and Still be Unique
2 Which actress would best play you in the film of your life?
Zhang Ziyi (ahem.)3 If you were a country, which one would you be?
Still the Philippines!4 If your philosophy in life could be summarized on a car sticker, what would it say?
Love Life!
5 If you could choose your own nickname, what would it be?
Gypsy
6 If people used your name as a verb, what would it be for? (as in he did a sarah last weekend)
Making a witty comeback
7 If you had your 15 minutes of fame, what would it be for?
Writing a Revolutionary Children’s Book that will inspire kids everywhere to reach out to people, whatever color their skin is.
8 If you could be a fictional character, who would you be?
Eowyn of the Lord of the Rings9 What three qualities in a man would be essential for him to quality as the love of your life?
An Analytical Mind
Courage
Integrity
10 Which TV character do you most identify with?
None, though I most admire Jack Bauer of 2411 How would you describe yourself in a lonely hearts ad?
I won't put an ad there in the first place...
12 If you could be an animal, what creature would be?
A cross between a cat and a dolphin
13 In what era do you belong?
80’s (sans the fashion!)
14 When someone asks you, What do you do? What would you like to be able to say?
I am a host of a travel show.
15 Which fashion designer epitomizes your sense of style?
Calvin Klein
16 What car would you be?
The Old Volkswagen Beetle
17 What season is most like you?
Summer
18 Where are you in life’s swimming pool? In the deep or shallow end, floating, sinking, on the diving board or in the changing room?
Either floating on the deep end or on the diving board
19 What song sums you up best?
“Jesus Loves Me, This I Know”
20 What flower would you be?
Sunflower21 What are your 3 best qualities?
Making people laugh
Putting stuff into words
Self-reliance
22 What 3 words would your detractors use about you? What 3 words would your friends use about you? Who do you agree with?
Detractors might say: Too Direct; Too Quick to Judge; Emotional
Friends might say: Honest, Reliable, Loyal
I agree with everyone of them.
23 Which of the 7 deadly sins are you most likely to commit?
Glutonny! Help!
24 What famous person, past or present, would most enjoy your company?
Gary Valenciano...and I hope he gets to read this!25 When & where were you the happiest you've ever been in your life?
Early 90’s, while working at an Indochinese Refugee Camp in Bataan, Northern Philippines.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Marang, Bay!
What’s that smell?
Whoa! there it is again! Whew!
What other fruit would give such a strong olfactory impression other than the (in)famous durian? Everywhere you go now in Davao, and many other cities in Mindanao, you see them precariously piled high in all their thorny splendour. If the aroma is not a scent to behold for you, then maybe the sight does! Not many fruits look as interesting as a durian—and that’s why it gets a lot of attention--and loyalty from fellow Mindanaoans.
So, I am afraid that I have been subjected to much persecution because I dare to admit that I don’t eat durian. I like Marang better—that declaration should be enough to assure people that I am still very much a true blue Mindanaoan, but no, sir, it doesn’t!
I don’t understand why the lowly Marang is overlooked and underrated. Hey if you give the Marang a chance, you’ll realize that it has better qualities than the overrated durian!
Firstly, its just as odd-looking as the durian but not as harmful. If you accidentally drop a Marang on your foot, you’ll be a bit sticky but you’re okey--but if it’s a durian….(never mind, don’t want to get into too much gore here.)
Secondly, its aroma is definitely not going to make you wrinkle your nose or (to some others) violently sick. Its mild scent invites people to come and savor it, unlike the durian who boldly proclaims its aroma (or odor, depends who’s smelling) but delivers quite a different taste.
Thirdly, check out its mild, sweet taste! Why go for the bitter zing when life’s already giving you heaps of that? Just let the Marang's sweet taste melt in your mouth and you’re in 7th heaven.
Fourthly, with Marang, nobody’s going to run away when you suddenly burp! While the durian has been known to break up marriages…(alright! temporarily, at least..!)
May the Marang get better press from now on, it deserves the honor!
Whoa! there it is again! Whew!
What other fruit would give such a strong olfactory impression other than the (in)famous durian? Everywhere you go now in Davao, and many other cities in Mindanao, you see them precariously piled high in all their thorny splendour. If the aroma is not a scent to behold for you, then maybe the sight does! Not many fruits look as interesting as a durian—and that’s why it gets a lot of attention--and loyalty from fellow Mindanaoans.
So, I am afraid that I have been subjected to much persecution because I dare to admit that I don’t eat durian. I like Marang better—that declaration should be enough to assure people that I am still very much a true blue Mindanaoan, but no, sir, it doesn’t!I don’t understand why the lowly Marang is overlooked and underrated. Hey if you give the Marang a chance, you’ll realize that it has better qualities than the overrated durian!
Firstly, its just as odd-looking as the durian but not as harmful. If you accidentally drop a Marang on your foot, you’ll be a bit sticky but you’re okey--but if it’s a durian….(never mind, don’t want to get into too much gore here.)
Secondly, its aroma is definitely not going to make you wrinkle your nose or (to some others) violently sick. Its mild scent invites people to come and savor it, unlike the durian who boldly proclaims its aroma (or odor, depends who’s smelling) but delivers quite a different taste.
Thirdly, check out its mild, sweet taste! Why go for the bitter zing when life’s already giving you heaps of that? Just let the Marang's sweet taste melt in your mouth and you’re in 7th heaven.
Fourthly, with Marang, nobody’s going to run away when you suddenly burp! While the durian has been known to break up marriages…(alright! temporarily, at least..!)
May the Marang get better press from now on, it deserves the honor!
Monday, October 16, 2006
Where I Lay My Head
*written October 11 in GenSan
I just woke up from the third bed I’ve slept in since I came to Gen San 7 days ago…another new bed, well-slept. If I were asked to count how many beds I’ve slept in since I left home to work, I would never be able to tell!
My six-month stay in Thailand a couple of years ago is pretty much a description of my life: wandering from one place to another by plane, train, tuktuk and car and sleeping in a grand total of 36 beds.
I’ve slept on a rock-hard mattress on the floor, on a lopsided bed ready to collapse anytime, on an upper bunk of a very shaky bunk bed (look ma, no railings!), on a rickety bed of a chugging train, in a sleeping bag on a breezy bamboo floor, on a lovely, firm queen-sized bed. I’ve slept on a bed with a bat hanging upside down above it. I’ve slept on a bed possessively claimed by the owner’s cat. I’ve slept on a bed with a lizard crawling up my leg in the middle of the night.
Having slept on so many beds, you’d think I can sleep well anywhere. How I wish that were true! The thing is, along with the different beds, comes different situations, different conditions and so, different sleep.
In all this time, I can only remember one particular bed on which I not only had wonderful, deep restful sleep, but also the most fantastic Technicolor dreams that leave me with a wonderful feeling when I woke up! I told my host this and she said that she prays over her guest room—that the Lord will grant anyone who uses that room good, restful sleep. Isn’t that a wonderful thing! But then, that was just for three days...and then I had to move on to another city, and another bed.
It must be nice to sleep on just one comfortable, sturdy, queen-sized bed for the rest of your life—a bed I can often come home to---my own. A bed I can dream dreams in, a bed I can lie down on happily falling asleep as I see my dreams fulfilled. A bed that I can fall asleep crying on, like a close friend’s shoulder and wake up comforted. There’s no one bed who has seen me through all my good and bad days—no bed I have shared lots of memories with.
Interestingly, one Man had it worse! He said, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”( Matthew 8:20)
Not an easy thing, to follow such a Master. But I am looking forward to one day having my own bed, enjoying good rest and the Master’s presence forever.
I just woke up from the third bed I’ve slept in since I came to Gen San 7 days ago…another new bed, well-slept. If I were asked to count how many beds I’ve slept in since I left home to work, I would never be able to tell!
My six-month stay in Thailand a couple of years ago is pretty much a description of my life: wandering from one place to another by plane, train, tuktuk and car and sleeping in a grand total of 36 beds.
I’ve slept on a rock-hard mattress on the floor, on a lopsided bed ready to collapse anytime, on an upper bunk of a very shaky bunk bed (look ma, no railings!), on a rickety bed of a chugging train, in a sleeping bag on a breezy bamboo floor, on a lovely, firm queen-sized bed. I’ve slept on a bed with a bat hanging upside down above it. I’ve slept on a bed possessively claimed by the owner’s cat. I’ve slept on a bed with a lizard crawling up my leg in the middle of the night.
Having slept on so many beds, you’d think I can sleep well anywhere. How I wish that were true! The thing is, along with the different beds, comes different situations, different conditions and so, different sleep.
In all this time, I can only remember one particular bed on which I not only had wonderful, deep restful sleep, but also the most fantastic Technicolor dreams that leave me with a wonderful feeling when I woke up! I told my host this and she said that she prays over her guest room—that the Lord will grant anyone who uses that room good, restful sleep. Isn’t that a wonderful thing! But then, that was just for three days...and then I had to move on to another city, and another bed.
It must be nice to sleep on just one comfortable, sturdy, queen-sized bed for the rest of your life—a bed I can often come home to---my own. A bed I can dream dreams in, a bed I can lie down on happily falling asleep as I see my dreams fulfilled. A bed that I can fall asleep crying on, like a close friend’s shoulder and wake up comforted. There’s no one bed who has seen me through all my good and bad days—no bed I have shared lots of memories with.
Interestingly, one Man had it worse! He said, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”( Matthew 8:20)
Not an easy thing, to follow such a Master. But I am looking forward to one day having my own bed, enjoying good rest and the Master’s presence forever.
Friday, October 13, 2006
That Off Line Feeling
I'm hanging out at my aunt's place in Gen San the past two days and its been pretty laid back, just the pace I like my vacations to be. But what was really curious was my reaction when I found out they had DSL!
You see, I had been in Gen San for about a week already, but the first few days, I was holding a workshop and staying in a place where the outside world was only accessible either by my cellphone or by tricycle. When my hosts mentioned this, I was quite cool about it. In fact, I thought, this would be great since it will give me a chance to just disconnect and focus on the workshop plus throw in some retreat time for myself. Well, the 4-day stay went quickly enough and I was pretty proud of myself for staying nonchalantly disconnected all that time.
Until I got to my Aunt's place...with the workshop done and nothing else to focus on but thoughts of next week's work schedule...I started to get that "I-must-get-on-line" feeling. I wondered when the twicthy feeling would pass since I was almost positive that I would have to stay off-line for a few more days--since I assumed that my Aunt didnt know a thing about going on line--until I saw their computer and my cousin typing away on it...and ventured to ask the all-important question, "Do you have DSL?"
The feeling I had must be similar to that of a coke addict finally taking a hit after days of trying to stay clean...hmmm...not a pleasant comparison, but I have to admit that this has become sort of an addiction. Sigh.
So here I am on-line, relief flowing through my veins as I checked my inbox and answered all the important(?) emails. I had thought I would simply spend my time at my aunt's place resting and enjoying "other stuff" that being off line would bring me. So I am not sure this is a good thing...being on line that is.
I hope I can go off-line after this...though I would'nt bet on it...would somebody please start a webaholic anonymous group???? On line???
You see, I had been in Gen San for about a week already, but the first few days, I was holding a workshop and staying in a place where the outside world was only accessible either by my cellphone or by tricycle. When my hosts mentioned this, I was quite cool about it. In fact, I thought, this would be great since it will give me a chance to just disconnect and focus on the workshop plus throw in some retreat time for myself. Well, the 4-day stay went quickly enough and I was pretty proud of myself for staying nonchalantly disconnected all that time.
Until I got to my Aunt's place...with the workshop done and nothing else to focus on but thoughts of next week's work schedule...I started to get that "I-must-get-on-line" feeling. I wondered when the twicthy feeling would pass since I was almost positive that I would have to stay off-line for a few more days--since I assumed that my Aunt didnt know a thing about going on line--until I saw their computer and my cousin typing away on it...and ventured to ask the all-important question, "Do you have DSL?"
The feeling I had must be similar to that of a coke addict finally taking a hit after days of trying to stay clean...hmmm...not a pleasant comparison, but I have to admit that this has become sort of an addiction. Sigh.
So here I am on-line, relief flowing through my veins as I checked my inbox and answered all the important(?) emails. I had thought I would simply spend my time at my aunt's place resting and enjoying "other stuff" that being off line would bring me. So I am not sure this is a good thing...being on line that is.
I hope I can go off-line after this...though I would'nt bet on it...would somebody please start a webaholic anonymous group???? On line???
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Babel-Tongued
“Di tsai iya ba kung asa ang pinakalami nga restaurant dito sa Davao?”
“Ay, hindi ko baya alam, better siguro kung di khi m’ng Bebbs na lang.”
If you are not a Cebuano-speaking, Davao-born Chinese, you would be scratching your head, wondering what the above gibberish is all about. You might be able to guess part of it, but would be hard pressed to figure what language it is exactly.
Well, there’s no name to it, but just to say that the above exchange is a concoction of 4 languages: Hokkien, Cebuano, English, Tagalog. It can get more complicated than that, depending on who you talk to, what region you are in and what context.
I guess if you are an overseas born whatever—Chinese, Indian, Filipino…etc. etc., you’d end up becoming as linguistically mixed up as I am. People are so impressed that I speak 5 or so languages (throw in Cantonese to the above list)...what they don’t realize is that I am a jill-of-all-trades but a mistress of none: I am not fluent in any of them!
To my shame, I can only say that the language I am most comfortable with speaking and writing in, is English. Shame because that shouldn’t be…my ethnicity is Cantonese Chinese, so why can’t I be identified as such in my speech?
But the world has grown much more complicated than that.
Globalization has done a lot of good things for the world, but then it also has its setbacks…like producing mixed-up people (yours truly as Exhibit A) who don’t exactly know who they are, and where they belong.
Finding my center in Christ has been a real relief for me—this has helped me celebrate instead of denigrate my uniquely blended identity (and embrace the eccentricities that come with it!). His truth has somehow helped me identify and (try to) live out the best of who I am….obviously a lot of tweaking is still called for, but I am thankful that He has given me an identity that I can hold on to.
“Ay, hindi ko baya alam, better siguro kung di khi m’ng Bebbs na lang.”
If you are not a Cebuano-speaking, Davao-born Chinese, you would be scratching your head, wondering what the above gibberish is all about. You might be able to guess part of it, but would be hard pressed to figure what language it is exactly.
Well, there’s no name to it, but just to say that the above exchange is a concoction of 4 languages: Hokkien, Cebuano, English, Tagalog. It can get more complicated than that, depending on who you talk to, what region you are in and what context.
I guess if you are an overseas born whatever—Chinese, Indian, Filipino…etc. etc., you’d end up becoming as linguistically mixed up as I am. People are so impressed that I speak 5 or so languages (throw in Cantonese to the above list)...what they don’t realize is that I am a jill-of-all-trades but a mistress of none: I am not fluent in any of them!
To my shame, I can only say that the language I am most comfortable with speaking and writing in, is English. Shame because that shouldn’t be…my ethnicity is Cantonese Chinese, so why can’t I be identified as such in my speech?
But the world has grown much more complicated than that.
Globalization has done a lot of good things for the world, but then it also has its setbacks…like producing mixed-up people (yours truly as Exhibit A) who don’t exactly know who they are, and where they belong.
Finding my center in Christ has been a real relief for me—this has helped me celebrate instead of denigrate my uniquely blended identity (and embrace the eccentricities that come with it!). His truth has somehow helped me identify and (try to) live out the best of who I am….obviously a lot of tweaking is still called for, but I am thankful that He has given me an identity that I can hold on to.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Locker Room Wisdom
The only thing I had expected to gain from going to the gym was fitness. Little did I realize that there was much more to gain, like advices you get or overhear in the locker room. Some are wacky, some ironic, some true but all are interesting, to say the least. Here’s some I’ve picked up…(you supply the comments)1. To gain your ideal weight, eat only meat buns for one whole week.
2. The best (and cheapest) steak in town is just a block away from the gym (tip from one of the gym instructors).
3. Instead of eating chocolates when you’re hungry, try bananas.
4. Exercise more so your husband won’t go looking for another woman.
5. You must look stylish while you exercise…buy these exercise costumes from me!
6. When you exercise a lot, you’ll be so addicted to it that you'll look for it everyday.
7. Gym instructors usually punish you on Mondays with high impact exercises for your lazy, pig-out weekends.
8. Manang (Big Sister) Alma, the cleaning lady, sells the best bibingka (rice cakes).
9. The thin ones are often addicted to exercise...the fat ones have to drag themselves to the gym!
10. You must wear bras with maximum support if you are going to jump up and down at aero!
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Born Yesterday(?)
This morning, I woke up to the sound of my cellphone’s robotic text tone. Trying to clear the sleep fog from my brain, I checked the message and boy, did the message zap the fog away fast!
“PHIL. CHARITY FOUNDATION inform (sic) that ur CELPHONE NO# had won (800,000.00) During our 50th annvrsry text ur NME, AGE& ADDS. 4MORE INFO, CAL NOW, REY T. OSMENA. +639286087535”
Whoa! Brain jumpstarts….
Hmmm…Brain starts whirring…
Oh…Brain realizes that owner of brain is not born yesterday…
Yeah, right…Brain snickers…
Duh! Brain wonders if people actually believe is kind of baloney…
But after that less than 30-second-knee-jerk cerebral processing, I began to wonder again, but what if…?
As they say, there’s a sucker born every minute…I don’t consider myself one, but in this case, I decided there’s no harm checking this one out, but not by replying to Rey T. Osmena and thereby biting the bait. I texted my dear lawyer-friend and got her reply:
“That’s a hoax. Call PCSO and ask if there is such a foundation and promo.”
Well, for a minute I began fantasizing on what to do with 800,000.00.. the currency was indicated, so I started wondering…
Yen? Yikes, hope not…
Peso? Hmmm, okey lang
US Dollars? Hmmm….wish wish…
British Pound? Hmmm….Yes! Yes!
Oh, well…no harm done. But I wonder about others who’ve been suckered into this scam…I wonder how much they ended up losing.
Well, to Rey T. Osmena, (or whoever you are using somebody else’s name), you will definitely reap what you sow.
“PHIL. CHARITY FOUNDATION inform (sic) that ur CELPHONE NO# had won (800,000.00) During our 50th annvrsry text ur NME, AGE& ADDS. 4MORE INFO, CAL NOW, REY T. OSMENA. +639286087535”
Whoa! Brain jumpstarts….
Hmmm…Brain starts whirring…
Oh…Brain realizes that owner of brain is not born yesterday…
Yeah, right…Brain snickers…
Duh! Brain wonders if people actually believe is kind of baloney…
But after that less than 30-second-knee-jerk cerebral processing, I began to wonder again, but what if…?
As they say, there’s a sucker born every minute…I don’t consider myself one, but in this case, I decided there’s no harm checking this one out, but not by replying to Rey T. Osmena and thereby biting the bait. I texted my dear lawyer-friend and got her reply:
“That’s a hoax. Call PCSO and ask if there is such a foundation and promo.”
Well, for a minute I began fantasizing on what to do with 800,000.00.. the currency was indicated, so I started wondering…
Yen? Yikes, hope not…
Peso? Hmmm, okey lang
US Dollars? Hmmm….wish wish…
British Pound? Hmmm….Yes! Yes!
Oh, well…no harm done. But I wonder about others who’ve been suckered into this scam…I wonder how much they ended up losing.
Well, to Rey T. Osmena, (or whoever you are using somebody else’s name), you will definitely reap what you sow.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Beware of Korean Dramas!!
Since I’ve been based in Davao for the past three months, I have spent my bonding times with mom watching Korean dramas on DVDs. I have had friends tell me that they are addictive, and that they have great plots. Since I have never really been a soap fan, I never bothered to check out how true (or false) my friends’ claims were.
And then I came home to a mom who's on a self-imposed retirement—and filling most of her time watching Korean soaps (the DVDs are faithfully supplied by her friendly suki Abdul in downtown Davao). So how do I bond with her when her eyes seldom stray from the TV???
The first one I watched with her was a weepy one called ‘Spring Waltz.’ It just happened that I liked it and got really hooked—even to the point of enduring the really dragging parts of the soap.
The English subtitles were impressive on the first half…so by the time the English went from bad to undecipherable, I was already far too emotionally involved with the romance of Eun Jung and Jae Ha to break away. But since the weepy tale did have a good plot, good-looking actors (a must for me, after all, this kind of stuff is supposed to be escapism, right??) and it ended happily, nobody had to stick a gun on my head to get me started on the next Korean soap.
That’s how it started to get frustrating.
The next one was 16 dragging, weepy episodes long (my mom cried at every episode) and, que horror! the lovers both died at the end!! Argggghhhh!!! How could the producers of the show be so sadistic as to pull my emotions up and down like a yoyo through 16 episodes only to send me crashing at the end?!
Because I am an idiot, I allowed myself to be conned one more time. I found myself shattered, yet again, when the heroine died on me, leaving me dismayed at having to cope with another tragic end!
So this is a word of caution to all of you who are still on the verge of getting hooked—if you don’t want to fall prey to sadistic Korean directors, check out the ending first!!!
Ok, I think I’d better get back to having a life now…
PS. Check out Super Rookie though, it’s funny, has superb English subtitles, the lead actors are good looking, and most importantly…it has a happy ending!
PPS. At least I got to bond very well with mom…and this is still my (best) excuse for watching Korean dramas…
And then I came home to a mom who's on a self-imposed retirement—and filling most of her time watching Korean soaps (the DVDs are faithfully supplied by her friendly suki Abdul in downtown Davao). So how do I bond with her when her eyes seldom stray from the TV???
The first one I watched with her was a weepy one called ‘Spring Waltz.’ It just happened that I liked it and got really hooked—even to the point of enduring the really dragging parts of the soap.
The English subtitles were impressive on the first half…so by the time the English went from bad to undecipherable, I was already far too emotionally involved with the romance of Eun Jung and Jae Ha to break away. But since the weepy tale did have a good plot, good-looking actors (a must for me, after all, this kind of stuff is supposed to be escapism, right??) and it ended happily, nobody had to stick a gun on my head to get me started on the next Korean soap.
That’s how it started to get frustrating.
The next one was 16 dragging, weepy episodes long (my mom cried at every episode) and, que horror! the lovers both died at the end!! Argggghhhh!!! How could the producers of the show be so sadistic as to pull my emotions up and down like a yoyo through 16 episodes only to send me crashing at the end?!
Because I am an idiot, I allowed myself to be conned one more time. I found myself shattered, yet again, when the heroine died on me, leaving me dismayed at having to cope with another tragic end!
So this is a word of caution to all of you who are still on the verge of getting hooked—if you don’t want to fall prey to sadistic Korean directors, check out the ending first!!!
Ok, I think I’d better get back to having a life now…
PS. Check out Super Rookie though, it’s funny, has superb English subtitles, the lead actors are good looking, and most importantly…it has a happy ending!
PPS. At least I got to bond very well with mom…and this is still my (best) excuse for watching Korean dramas…
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Cherish, Dont Cling
In the past three months, I saw:
My laptop crashing.
My eyeglasses snap.
My wristwatch break.
My thumbdrive not working.
Weird that all of them should go, one after the other. In a span of a few months. For every object that broke, I kept saying to myself, these are just “things.” There’s more to life than “things.”
Knowing this has not kept me from feeling ticked off, to say the least. It’s not just that they happened one after the other, or that this has set me back financially—big time, but it's more the sentiments I’ve attached to these things. Each one has a special reason for being bought, and as I use them, memories pile up to make each thing more valuable than the price I paid for them.
I can choose to go on and feel miserable about it—hey, its fun to wallow in self-pity. But I have a life. So I choose to move on. I realize that these things could’ve been broken relationships, friends who’ve moved, or dear ones who’ve left this life. I’ve had my share of these as well…and I chose to move on as well.
But I have been learned somewhere along my journey, to
Cherish…family, friends, memories, things with special meaning, and not cling on to them, instead, cling on to…God’s Word, His love and His promises.
My laptop crashing.
My eyeglasses snap.
My wristwatch break.
My thumbdrive not working.
Weird that all of them should go, one after the other. In a span of a few months. For every object that broke, I kept saying to myself, these are just “things.” There’s more to life than “things.”
Knowing this has not kept me from feeling ticked off, to say the least. It’s not just that they happened one after the other, or that this has set me back financially—big time, but it's more the sentiments I’ve attached to these things. Each one has a special reason for being bought, and as I use them, memories pile up to make each thing more valuable than the price I paid for them.
I can choose to go on and feel miserable about it—hey, its fun to wallow in self-pity. But I have a life. So I choose to move on. I realize that these things could’ve been broken relationships, friends who’ve moved, or dear ones who’ve left this life. I’ve had my share of these as well…and I chose to move on as well.
But I have been learned somewhere along my journey, to
Cherish…family, friends, memories, things with special meaning, and not cling on to them, instead, cling on to…God’s Word, His love and His promises.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Thoughts of Heaven
How would you feel if you were told that you only have 5 days to live?
That happened to a friend’s friend. And as we prayed for her, I felt, in a very strange way, an overwhelming sense of excitement. A bit twisted of me to think this… I guess it sounds twisted to those who are left behind, they will feel the pain of loss. The one who has left would interestingly, will feel the pleasure of gaining a face to face meeting with the glorious Maker…for eternity!
Even with all of what this life has to offer, it cannot compare with what life would be in the Great Beyond.
What if I was the one hit with cancer and told that I only had a couple of days left? I was reeling a bit at the thought of getting off this life-train and entering the pearly gates, but not with terror but with thrill. But then again, this is all hypothetical. I might feel a bit differently when the time comes to meet my Maker.
But let’s just say this would happen..
Let me see…things I would miss when I get to heaven would be…a friend’s shoulder when I need one to cry on, a warm shower after coming in drenched from the rain, a hot cup of coffee that blasts away the leftover sleepiness in the morning, my mom’s home cooking after having to eat commercial junk while living alone in Manila, a good belly-aching laugh after a really stressful day, a sense of wonder seeing how God miraculously provides after I lose something…
It’s all the “bad” stuff that makes the “good” stuff even better. I guess that is what makes this life “fun” to live: the good stuff that is so much appreciated because of the bad ones that happen.
In heaven, there won’t be any bad stuff that would help me appreciate the good ones. But by then, I guess it won’t matter anyway, I’d be too awed by all the good stuff to even think of anything else.
“Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be his people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear form their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain…(Rev. 21:3-4)
That happened to a friend’s friend. And as we prayed for her, I felt, in a very strange way, an overwhelming sense of excitement. A bit twisted of me to think this… I guess it sounds twisted to those who are left behind, they will feel the pain of loss. The one who has left would interestingly, will feel the pleasure of gaining a face to face meeting with the glorious Maker…for eternity!
Even with all of what this life has to offer, it cannot compare with what life would be in the Great Beyond.
What if I was the one hit with cancer and told that I only had a couple of days left? I was reeling a bit at the thought of getting off this life-train and entering the pearly gates, but not with terror but with thrill. But then again, this is all hypothetical. I might feel a bit differently when the time comes to meet my Maker.
But let’s just say this would happen..
Let me see…things I would miss when I get to heaven would be…a friend’s shoulder when I need one to cry on, a warm shower after coming in drenched from the rain, a hot cup of coffee that blasts away the leftover sleepiness in the morning, my mom’s home cooking after having to eat commercial junk while living alone in Manila, a good belly-aching laugh after a really stressful day, a sense of wonder seeing how God miraculously provides after I lose something…
It’s all the “bad” stuff that makes the “good” stuff even better. I guess that is what makes this life “fun” to live: the good stuff that is so much appreciated because of the bad ones that happen.
In heaven, there won’t be any bad stuff that would help me appreciate the good ones. But by then, I guess it won’t matter anyway, I’d be too awed by all the good stuff to even think of anything else.
“Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be his people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear form their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain…(Rev. 21:3-4)
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Color Blind
I spent one lazy afternoon watching a romantic comedy on DVD called Guess Who which was about the snags of a cross-racial relationship (ie. white man and black woman). As I snickered at the hilarious antics of the black dad and his daughter’s white boyfriend, my niece, Nikka came in and out of the bedroom, glancing once in a while at the movie.
At one point, she stopped and stared at a scene and asked, “Why is the dad angry with that man?” I absently replied, “Oh, he doesn’t want that man to marry his daughter.” She puzzled over the scene of the dark-skinned father-daughter pair with the sparkling white boy sandwiched between them, and wondered out loud, “Why doesn’t he like the boy?”
Out of the mouth of babes.
I would have thought it was obvious just by looking at the stark contrast of skin colors...until I realized I was talking to a child. Nikka, at age 8, is still color blind. She still doesn’t have the grown ups’ tendencies of judging people by their externals.
How amazingly peaceful the world would be if we have not allowed the innocence of childhood to be polluted by the so-called wisdom of adulthood.
That short exchange with my niece forced me to look into myself: How "un-colorblind" am I? Do I size people up by what I physically see? Do I treat people differently simply because their skin colors are shades darker (or lighter) than mine?
A few days later, I watched another movie. It was also a color-themed movie but with a
darker tone: Crash. The movie centered on two tumultuous days in the lives of certain individuals in Los Angeles, where the color of one’s skin becomes the trigger for the tumult. In some sense, it was painful to watch that movie as it depicts, in an “in your face” way, how all of us have a bit of racism coursing through our blood.
The tagline of the movie was “You think you know who you are. You have no idea.” Indeed.
We may not exhibit our racism in violent ways but it is there, just below the surface, waiting or something or someone to trigger it. Can we ever really return to the innocence of childhood and gain back the gift of colorblindness?
At one point, she stopped and stared at a scene and asked, “Why is the dad angry with that man?” I absently replied, “Oh, he doesn’t want that man to marry his daughter.” She puzzled over the scene of the dark-skinned father-daughter pair with the sparkling white boy sandwiched between them, and wondered out loud, “Why doesn’t he like the boy?”
Out of the mouth of babes.
I would have thought it was obvious just by looking at the stark contrast of skin colors...until I realized I was talking to a child. Nikka, at age 8, is still color blind. She still doesn’t have the grown ups’ tendencies of judging people by their externals.
How amazingly peaceful the world would be if we have not allowed the innocence of childhood to be polluted by the so-called wisdom of adulthood.
That short exchange with my niece forced me to look into myself: How "un-colorblind" am I? Do I size people up by what I physically see? Do I treat people differently simply because their skin colors are shades darker (or lighter) than mine?
A few days later, I watched another movie. It was also a color-themed movie but with a
darker tone: Crash. The movie centered on two tumultuous days in the lives of certain individuals in Los Angeles, where the color of one’s skin becomes the trigger for the tumult. In some sense, it was painful to watch that movie as it depicts, in an “in your face” way, how all of us have a bit of racism coursing through our blood.The tagline of the movie was “You think you know who you are. You have no idea.” Indeed.
We may not exhibit our racism in violent ways but it is there, just below the surface, waiting or something or someone to trigger it. Can we ever really return to the innocence of childhood and gain back the gift of colorblindness?
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