Living with Our Choices

A pink piece of luggage. Nobody who knows me would ever have imagined me buying such an item. But buy I did. I made the choice to buy it because it was the right size, the right quality, the right price. I chose it for these reasons---never mind that it was not the neon green piece I saw the week before (Alas! out of stock) but Barbie-pink.

So I endured the guffaws from a good friend who picked me up at the airport recently: “Wahahaha!!! Pink!” and my dear brother: “Eeow! What happened?!” I patiently, albeit defensively explained my choice (see above reasons).

But this doesn’t keep me from sighing everytime I look at it, innocently, quietly standing in the corner of my house…a silent reminder of my need to stand by the choices I make.

The worst that could happen is that I’d grow to like it, despite the fact that it is so against the very grain of my personality to go with pink-hued accessories of any sort. (No offense to pink-lovers, “It’s not you …it’s me…”)

The worst that could happen is the persecution I will have to endure from my friends (having already gotten initial, painful feedback, I think I can handle some more).

Whatever the case maybe, I will have to live with it.

Other choices that I may have to live with it in the future might not be as easy this.

In some sense, I thank God for this pink “thing,” at least I am reminded to be careful with my choices in the future, on more serious matters.

….like, maybe, dying my hair pink…!

Don't Know Any Better

“What should I do?”
“What must be done?”
“Why won’t she listen?”

He is frustrated.
She is in pain.
They are confused.

“It’ll be okey.”
“Do this.”
“Do that.”

I suggest.
I counsel.
I comfort.
Or try to.

Inside me, I sigh.

“Don’t ask me!”
“I don’t know.”
“I can’t help you.”

I don’t know any better!
I don’t DO any better.

They ask me this.
They ask me that.

“Counsel me.”
“Hear me.”
“Help me.”

But I don’t know how!
Can’t even follow my own advice.

I'm as weak as you.
As helpless as you.
Make mistakes like you.
Stumble like you.
Whimper like you.

I don’t know any better.

...and sometimes, I don’t want to come alongside.
...and sometimes, I just can’t come alongside.

I can’t.
I wish I can.
Will a hug do?

...and I need to fight my own battles.
...and you need to win your own wars.

Ask Him!
He can.
He wants to.
And He will.

After all, He did say,
"Come to me , all of you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28.

Who Knows?

It’s Sunday and I am enjoying my last few hours in this temporary haven in Baguio. The only sound I hear are the soft whirring of CK’s fan and my fingers dancing on the keyboard—otherwise, it’s pure, unadulterated silence.

My workshop finished at 9 pm yesterday and with the SONA tomorrow blocking my way to the office in QC, what’s the point of rushing down to Manila today? So I decided to just stay here for one more day, chill (literally) and enjoy the fog-enveloped view from my window.

Who knows, I might catch another technicolor sunset like the one I caught on camera the other day! Who knows if I would get to enjoy such a rare awesome treat again?

Then again, who knows if I will ever come back again to this nice haven in Baguio?

Who knows if this nice haven will still be around a year from now when I come home? Who knows if I would ever be able to enjoy this unadulterated peace and quiet again?

Who knows what life will throw at me tomorrow?

For now, I am A-OK and life is good. Cheers!

15 Weird Facts and Feats

Since Wil, as payback, tagged me to list down 15 weird facts about myself, I have been mentally working on the list on and off for the past couple of weeks. I thought myself to be quite normal since I found it difficult to come up with a list of 15 weird facts. Hmm…should I just say I bite my nails 15 times a day? Would that qualify for all 15?

“Oh, wow,” I thought at first, “I must normal!” Until I am reminded of certain facts like…

1. I can only sleep well if I sleep on my stomach, and with my arm around a baby pillow.
2. I graduated 13^th honor after 10 years of Chinese language classes…and am still only semi-literate in Mandarin (I fooled my teachers! BWAHAHAHA!!).
3. I can put on my contact lenses in under 15 seconds--without the aid of a mirror!
4. After a traumatic first-time experience of baby sitting, it took me many years to get over my fear of children…and I have rarely babysat since--even with my own nieces!
5. I am embarrassingly slow at telling time with analog watches…thus all my wristwatches have been (and always will be) digital.
6. I have difficulty figuring out the “open” and “close” symbols in elevators…I am sorry to the many I have victimized because of this…err…lapse.
7. If I do not get to eat McSpaghetti or McDonald’s Longganisa Rice within a couple of weeks, I don’t feel well.
8. I have an earthy, politically incorrect sense of humor that gets me snickering at the oddest, most inappropriate occasions.
9. From childhood until now, I have moved house 24 times—and even then, I am no expert. I still lose something after every move ( a pair of shoes, a belt, a blouse, a pair of earrings, and lately, a pair of sandals, and, soon, quite possibly, my head.)
10. I have seen “While You Were Sleeping” so many times I have memorized the script.
11. I consider “The Simpsons” a serious comedy that accurately portrays/ parodies a certain segment of American society. I feel the same way about “Third Rock from the Sun” which parodies modern society and human behavior.
12. I am proud of the gap between my two front teeth—it gives me “character” and puts me in the same league as Madonna and Lauren Hutton. So I can’t understand why my dentists are obsessing about closing it up or getting me braced!
13. And speaking of dentists, I love to go for prophylaxis so much that she has to shoo me away and tell me to come back after 3 months.
14. And speaking of dentists, I am proud to say I have very high pain threshold. The dentists don’t need to give me anesthesia when I go for major tooth filling projects.
15. And speaking of prophylaxis, I meet regularly with a friend who is a trained counselor, over a cup of coffee. We vent, do small talk, a bit of soul searching and self-examination. She gives me what I would like to call my psychological prophylaxis—just so I know my neurosis is still within socially acceptable levels. (And I guess the fact that I do this would already tell you I am certifiably weird!)

Fear not! I won't be tagging people--but anyone who wants to re-evaluate their WQ (weirdness quotient), feel free!

Like IV Drip to A Patient

Like IV drip to a hospital patient.

Like Diet Coke to a model.

Like face lift to an aging movie star.

Like Starbucks to yuppies.

That is what internet connection is to me, I’m afraid. I came up to Baguio yesterday, two days early for a seminar hoping to catch some R & R before work takes over. I was planning for some peace and quite in a haven tucked somewhere in the hills of Baguio. It’s stillness, I thought, would be such an ideal place for me to rest, reflect and be silent.

Sounds like a great plan!

Until I found out the phone lines were down. *gasp!*

Then I realized that I was only enamoured with the idea of quiet rest and reflection. In the end, this is still pathetically conditional to the presence of internet accessibility.

And so after a moment of reflection this morning, I went off to Session Road, logging my hulk of a boyfriend CK, in search for that IV drip called FREE WI FI ACCESS. The sign on the window outside Zola Café was the sole reason I wandered in.

Not so much the fact that they were playing Pop Goes my Heart when I came in.

Not so much that they actually have tomato catsup which I need to go with my tocilog breakfast.

Not so much for the efficient and friendly service.

If the place were a dump and the service bad, I would still be a happy camper as long as there is free wifi…and as long as they don’t throw me out even if I have hogged this table for the past couple of hours!

Ain’t I easy to please?!

Advices, Advices...

It is great to have so many friends. It’s great to have different people to turn to for different sort of things, like on travel, movies, foodtrips, and pity parties. But one thing all friends seem to have in common is the giving of advice!

Advices on keeping healthy…

Advices on primping yourself…

Advices on the cure for a bad cough….

There are certain peak seasons when advices fly all over the place—like now, when I am preparing to leave.

The most common advices are:

1. Bring warm socks.
2. Buy warm clothes there.
3. Make sure to go to Paris.
4. Make sure to visit Ireland.
5. Make sure to visit the Queen.
6. Try hard to find yourself a husband! *sigh*
   

Guess what.

Nobody adviced me to study hard.

Hmmm….

Perfect Timing

As I’ve said once before…waiting has never been my strength. But once again, God has proven that:

“Since ancient times no one has heard,
no ear has perceived,
no eye has seen any God besides you,
who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.”(Isaiah 64:4)

Yep, you guessed it. My UK student visa has arrived! Just this morning—after much waiting…and what a wait!

I had resolved not to worry but that didn’t mean that the worry wart in me wouldn't rare its ugly head. In those times, I would keep reminding myself that God is in control and He will see this through for me…no matter what the circumstances may seem to suggest.

It took nearly two months before my visa arrived. Those who've gone for studies in the UK have remarked that it seemed like an unusually long time of processing.

Had I not begged off from a meeting in Singapore that was scheduled last week, I would’ve wasted our organization’s money and cancelled the trip since my passport was still at the embassy.

Had my documents arrive last week, while I was in Davao, I wouldn’t have been able to get my hands on it since they would not have handed it over to simply anyone else.

Had I not get the call early this morning for instructions on how to get to our office (a bit complicated, what with the road widening project of the MMDA), the courier would've gotten lost along the way…and I might have to get my visa myself!

Oh well, all’s well that ends well…but wait! This is just the beginning!

So cheerio, mates, I have to go and look for the cheapest way to fly to London!

When I Was 18...

I was tagged by Niceheart on listing my favorite songs when I was 18. I thought, “Wow, I will have to reach some light years back for that!” Thankfully, I realized that I didn’t exactly have to do that since many of the songs are still on the airwaves, if not revived!

Ahh..the 80’s! How do I love thee?

I love thee for letting Rick Springfield wisely advise us, “Don’t Talk to Strangers.”

I love thee for Michael Jackson (when he wore his true colors and still had a nose).

I love thee for Gary V. who sang and danced his way to our hearts (up to now!)

I love thee for the Bagets gang through whom we vicariously lived out our adolescent follies.

I love thee for Tears for Fears who told us its okey to “Shout” and let it all out.

I love thee for Billy Joel who made Honesty cool.

I love thee for the fantastic duo Eurythmics announcing “Here Comes the Rain Again.”

I love thee for the dazzling Miss Piggy, those two funny cantakerous old critics and her consort in “The Muppet Show.”

I love thee for the swashbuckling adventures with Dr. Indiana Jones.

..and many more.

Though I would not be requesting the comeback of big hair, shoulder pads and baggy trousers…!

Anyway, here’s a list of the hits I loved when I turned 18…I wont be able to give detailed reasons why I like them, I just do—and mostly for the music rather than the lyrics—I seldom analyze lyrics, especially since half the time, I can hardly really figure out what they’re singing! Anyway, here goes:

Take My Breath Away – Berlin

True Colors -Cyndi Lauper

Broken Wings – Mr. Mister

Rock Me Amadeus – Falco

These Dreams –Heart

Walk of Life-Dire Straits

True Blue-Madonna

Meanwhile, let me share with you this MTV of Hugh Grant from Music and Lyrics—it just gets me all giggly about the crazy 80’s and nostalgic at the same time, sorry I have no idea how to upload a video so just click on this!!