McFrustration

Last night I went out for coffee with two friends and we started talking about food traditions, like how some people must have a coke with their burger, or how my friend’s daily dinner ritual would be potato chips, and a sandwich.

It reminded me all the more of a month-long frustration: I haven’t had my McSpaghetti meal yet! This morning I stared at a bunch of crumpled McDonald Meal coupons which I've tucked in my bag for ages, and with its expiry date being tomorrow, I am preparing my heart to say goodbye to them—especially to the McSpaghetti Meal coupon.

My hectic schedule plus the fact that the nearest McDonald’s is under renovation has been the reason why I haven’t been able to fulfill my food tradition/ritual this month. Tonight a friend of mine is taking me out for a post-birthday treat in a fancy restaurant—so obviously McDonald’s is out of the question—I don’t think it would make any sense to her if I asked to eat at McDonalds instead! I must really be desperate if I prefer McSpaghetti over a fancy dinner!

But I believe we all have our own tiny food rituals or traditions that make our day/week/month complete. I guess I will have to accept the fact that my March will be just a little bit incomplete…life’s like that, I guess.

So what’s your food ritual?

Turning a Year Older

Turning a year older…

Doesn’t mean I’m any wiser. I’ve learned a couple of things along the way, but I have also been stupid enough to repeat the same mistakes as well. I’ve known friends and colleagues younger than me who are far wiser.

Doesn’t mean I have loads of experiences. Again, I know of people who have gone through so much more than one should in a lifetime. I hear their stories and am amazed and humbled by their courage, strength and tenacity.

Doesn’t mean I have mellowed down. In fact, far from it. Getting older means I have a somewhat clearer perspective of life. I have found my niche. I have discovered where my passion lies. Doesn’t knowing all these make you pursue your dreams with more determination?

Doesn’t mean I am better at handling losses. Having said goodbye so many times in life has not made it any easier. But I have learned to keep my palms open and not clutch at relationships. Friends come and go, and I do the same to them—come and go, I mean. I have learned to simply enjoy the time given to me and my friends.

Doesn’t mean I have less to learn. In many cases, I seldom get to say, “Been there, done that.” Each experience, no matter how similar, is unique and so I discover new things to learn about me, about life, about God.

Doesn’t mean that I will jump on any unfortunate single man that crosses my path. In fact, the older one gets—the higher one’s standard tends to be—especially after having seen a lot of good and bad marriages and especially after knowing oneself better.

Doesn’t mean that I consider kid’s stuff beneath me. I can assure you that my friend’s 8-year-old son can have as much fun playing with me as he would friends his age, and I consider that a wonderful thing.

Doesn’t mean you can’t teach an old dog new tricks...well, depends on the old dog! But as for me…this one-year-old blog is Exhibit A.

Doesn’t mean I have become a disciplined, organized and solid, responsible person. You just need to come and look at my wee little house and my office desk. BUT this is not for lack of trying…

Doesn’t mean I've stopped planning about the future and just taking in what comes along. I still have a lot of plans and dreams—some have been fulfilled and so have not. I have also learned not to fret about things I have no control of, and to take them in stride. But I continue to plan, to pursue my dreams and in so doing, be a good steward of this one more year that God has given me.

Puh-Lizzz...

This is fast becoming a really irritating pattern.

Everytime I move to another place, somebody would eventually throw a knowing look at me and say, “Wow...who knows, you might meet your Mr. Right there..”

And now that I am planning another move, well, surprise surprise, the question pops up again. Sigh.

Hope springs eternal in the bosoms of those who want to marry me off.

The thing is, marriage is good and I’m honest enough to myself to admit that it is not exactly the farthest thing in my mind—but neither is it the foremost.

My life’s been really good. I get to do so many things that I would never have been able to do, had I remembered to get married in my 20’s. Those of my married friends who want to marry me off actually see this, and know this. Yet it seems like unless a single girl settles down, she is still looked upon as a somewhat incomplete and unfulfilled individual. I feel sorry that people feel that way—and sorrier for those singletons who actually believe this to be true.

So to my friends, I know you mean well, but the fact is I AM well—and if the right person does come along, hurray to that—but if not, I still have cause to celebrate life and all the amazing things that God has deigned to bless me with.

Pinch Me!

OH JOY!!!!

I just got an email this morning that I have been granted a 50% scholarship for a one-year Masters program I applied for in the UK.

Gasp! Can't believe this is happening!

When I first thought of going back to school for further studies, it seemed like an appealing dream but not really something that I thought would actually happen--I know, weird weird.

Anyway, when my colleagues and friends asked me about the application, I wasn't really all that excited, or even positive that I would get the scholarship.

To be honest, I wouldn't have minded if I didn't get the scholarship--because that would mean another major move for me (I have moved a minimum of 6 times in 6 years) and the Gypsy also knows to get (sick and) tired.

But obviously, God thinks laziness would be an unbelievably poor excuse for not granting this UK schooling.

Now that I got the news (a month earlier than promised), I am beside myself.

How does blogging from the UK sound? WheeeeeeEEEEeee!

Better than Coffee

"YaaaAAAAAaaaH!
SwaappAAAk!
Thoghug!
AaaaaAAAArrrrrggghhh!
Kill him! Kill him!!
RoooAAARrrrRR!"

Now Showing in the aircon bus I hopped on this morning was obviously NOT an Air Supply Concert.

It's Jet Li taking on 4 thugs in a fighting match.

Of course, he allowed himself to be beaten up, left right center, just for the fun of it, before that intent "Grrr...now's my turn..." look comes into his almost expressionless face and he clobbers every single one of them.

Gore galore.

Sure beats coffee.

Five Random Facts About Moi

I was tagged by Beng centuries ago, but never got around to make the list—there’s just too many odd things about me so I had to sift through them (and make sure I don’t scare people away!)

1. I’m an almost-UP Fine Arts student. After graduating from Ateneo de Davao, I came to Manila to check out the supposedly greener pastures. While waiting for a job, I checked out UP Fine Arts and wondered if I could get in for a second Bachelor’s degree. So I went and drew sketches and whatever the entrance exam demanded. A few weeks later, I found out I passed! But by then I already got myself a job, so I chose to earn rather than spend!

2. I spent one memorable month in Nepal. I thoroughly enjoyed hiking up the Himalayan range (Tibetan side), playing with Nepali kids, warm showers under gazillions of stars (some shower stalls were roofless), wrapping myself up in my warm sleeping bag of down feathers, sipping ginger milk tea, eating vegetarian food (dhal baat) and apple pancake every day during the trek and playing UNO cards with our porters under a candle light, making it all the way up to 4,000 meters above sea level, and greeted not only by snow-capped mountains but also by a San Miguel Beer sign. (Go figure!)

3. I bring sachets of tomato ketchup wherever I go—courtesy of McDonalds, Jollibee, KFC, etc. That is, I love smothering ketchup on my sunny side ups, anything fried, on my stir-fried noodles, burgers, etc. Sometimes the places I go to don’t have ketchup, so I bring them along—in case of emergency. It has worked well for me. Hehehe.

4. My colleagues suspect I have dyslexia. Symptoms? Well...I’m embarrassingly slow at telling time from watches with hands, (analog watches--is that you call them?) that all my wristwatches are digital. I’m also bad at identifying the push/pull sign on glass doors, or the close/open symbols in elevators and…the piece de resistance…I can’t tell my right from my left.

5. When I was a kid, I used to love reading Tagalog comics. I would go to the nearest comics rental stall and rent and read the whole day—sitting with the neighborhood tambays (loafers) and tricycle drivers who were as addicted as I was. This is why my grades in my Filipino subjects were always good. Ahem.

I guess I can’t really tag anyone else, I might just be the last remaining blogger who hasn’t done this meme! Anyway, thinking through this was fun!

You Know You've Had Too Much Coffee If...(Part Two)

You don't need a hammer to pound in nails.
You don't get mad, you get steamed.
You don't tan, you roast.
You eat the can along with the canned goods.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You have to watch videos on fast forward mode.
You haven't blinked since...since...you haven't blinked. Period.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You name your cats Cream and Sugar.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
You short out motion detectors.
You ski uphill.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You spend every vacation visiting Maxwell House.
You think being called a drip is a compliment.
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
You coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter Scale.
Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet and Low.
You're so wired, you pick up the AM radio.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
You think CPR stands for Coffee Provides Resuscitation.

You Know You've Had Too Much Coffee If...(Part One)

You don't sweat, you percolate.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

You lick your coffee pot clean.

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

You can jump-start your car without cables.

You want to be cremated so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.

The dishes in your house are all coffee cups.

Starbuck's owns the mortgage of your house.

You suck on the used coffee filter and grounds whenever the can rans out of coffee.

You've worn out the handle of your coffee mug.

You slip into a coma if you drink decaf by accident.

Your birthday is the national day of Colombia.

You go to the doctor because your afraid there might be blood in your coffee stream.

You have coffee-scented air freshners, soap, deodorants an colognes.

All your kids are named Joe.

Instant coffee takes too long.

People can test batteries in your ears.

People get dizzy just watching you.

The nurse needs a scientific calculator just to take your pulse.

The only time you are standing still is during an earthquake.

If someone asks you how you are, you say "Good to the last drop."

The Energizer bunny thinks you should calm down.

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using a timer.

You can type sixty words per minute using your feet.

You can't even remember your second cup.

You channel surf faster without a remote.

You chew on other people's fingernails.

Cheese in the Morning

This morning, I took the aircon bus to work as is my wont, and as I settled down on a comfortable seat, I looked up and what do you know, there was a video playing inside the bus: an Air Supply concert!

Yikes. Cheesy!

That was the first thought that came to my mind—but against whatever my conscious brain had against cheese, I found myself singing (under my breath) “Here I Am” and “Two Less Lonely People” with the Air Supply guys.

Well, I guess I don’t mind a little cheese.

Come to think of it, I didn’t mind a lot of cheese in my younger days—we used to allow Air Supply to tide us over our thesis writing agonies. (oh noo—I’m giving myself away!) I guess the reason why Air Supply set me in the good mood this morning is not so much the lyrics, but the memories I have attached to their songs—of bygone, carefree days with friends--when our only major concerns were stopping zits from popping up all over our faces and finding the nicest Rick Springfield poster.

“Here I am...the one that you love….”

Setting the Lonely in Families

It's 11:30 in the evening and I still can't sleep. I'm staying at a couple's house overnight, after just having come home together from the 70th birthday bash of another friend's dad.

I am still awake, enjoying the images that flit my mind of the big hug I got from my friend's dad, the birthday celebrant, and from my friend's mom, the celebrant's wife, "Anak ko!" (My daughter!) she exclaims before I got enveloped into another tight hug--having decided she would adopt me after spending so many overnights at their daughter's house some years back when their daughter was still single.

And here I am tonight at another friend's home, not just enjoying the fact that I get five-star treatment (ie. free PJ's, toiletries, towel, wireless internet, laptop use, coffee, breakfast, etc.) but most of all, enjoying the hugs and excited kisses from their son and daughter, who I haven't seen in ages.

And oh, I just remembered yesterday's lunch--a precious Chinese soup called "Buddha Jumped Over the Wall" especially cooked by my prayer partner's mother in law. I ate with them and relished the soup, which took almost a day to prepare, while my prayer partner's father in law regaled us with Chinese folklore.

I have been in Manila for the past 7 years and when I first came up, I wondered what I was thinking, leaving behind in Davao the comforts of home, a family and a horde of friends who love me and would welcome me anytime into their homes. What's here for me in Manila??

Seven years later, sitting in the dining room of my friend's house in Sta Cruz, Manila, I look back and realize what God said is true: He sets the lonely in families. (Psalms 68:6)

It's great to realize that wherever my wandering gypsy feet will take me, I will always have families to go home to.

When You're Sick...You Don't Need A Doctor

"Take 1000 mg of vitamin C!"
"Take hot instead of room temp water!"
"Take calamansi juice!"
"Stop taking your medication for three days and see how things go!"
"Take your medication only at night!"
"Sleep early!"
"You shouldn't drink coffee when you're sick!"

Now the last unsolicited advice, I took offense. Nobody dares tell me to stop taking coffee, it's almost sacriligious to even suggest that!

Sigh.

Why does sickness make everyone around you become doctor wannabee's? In Cebuano, we call them M.D.s (ie. murag doktor=pretend doctors)

Don't you realize that when you get sick, you could actually make a compilation of all the advises given to you and sell a book on home remedies or something? But then again, maybe a book on the "100 weird advices you get when you're sick" would probably sell better. Ha!

I have had my share of really weird ones, like:
1. Drink your first urine in the morning.
2. Boil some of the shrubs that grow outside your house and drink the soup.
3. Drink boiled Coca Cola.
4. Hold your breathe for as long as you can (I found this actually effective in stopping hiccups!)

So far, none of the advices have worked (yikes, no! not the list right above, but the list "quotes" at the top, please!)

There are some others I don't (or refuse to) remember, but I guess the good thing about all this is that people around me actually care...then again, maybe they're just scared I'll spread my virus!

Signing off...*cough*cough*sniff*sniff*sigh*

Sit Still

Sit still my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Nor deem these days-these waiting days—as ill!
The One who loves thee best, who plans thy way,
Hath not forgotten thy great need today!
And, if He waits, ‘tis sure He waits to prove
To thee, His tender child, His heart’s deep love.

Sit still my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Thou longest much to know thy dear Lord’s will;
While anxious thoughts would almost steal their way
Corrodingly within, because of His delay—
Persuade thyself in simple faith to rest
That He, who knows and loves will do the best.

Sit still my daughter, just sit calmly still!
Nor move one step, not even one, until
His way hath opened. Then, ah then, how sweet!
How glad thy heart, and then how strong!
And waiting days not counted then too long.

Sit still my daughter just sit calmly still!
What higher service could’st thou for Him fill?
‘Tis hard! Ah yes! But choicest things must cost!
For lack of losing all, how much is lost!
‘Tis hard, ‘tis true! But then, He giveth grace
To count the hardest spot the sweetest place.

J. Danson Smith
(From Streams in the Desert)

An Unexpected Manila Welcome

When the plane landed at Ninoy Aquino International Airport last Saturday afternoon, I tried my philosophical best to be positive about being back in the teeming metropolis.

It wasn’t all that hard, actually.

Outside the airport, I opted for the ordinary metered taxi and got a really nice luxurious one appear before me. For a moment, I thought it was an airport taxi, to my wallet’s relief, it wasn’t!

So I enjoyed the sun shining through the gray-blue skies, a nice contrast to the rainy weather Davao has been experiencing the past few days.

I pretended that the good-looking celebrities that looked down from the huge billboards at EDSA (Yes, many of them survived the anti-billboard controversy! Surprise, surprise.) were welcoming me with their warm smiles.

Of course, the near death experiences I had as my taxi driver tried to act out his dream of being the top Grand Prix winner, made be appreciate life all the more. Plus the fact that my heart was jolted a number of times probably only meant that I had some much needed cardio exercise going even while in a sedentary position.

But the BEST Manila welcome I got was when I got home. I paid the driver P200, rounded off from P175 which the meter showed, mumbled my thanks and made a move to open the taxi door—and--*gasp* the taxi driver actually handed me a P20 change!!

I was so shocked that I just smiled, shook my head and told him it’s okey.

Now, beat that welcome gesture!

Back On The Saddle

A few more days and my time in Davao will be up.

Goodbye to late night coffee binges with friends, alone time at the gym’s pool, Korean dramathons with Mom, loud chit chats with friends while pigging out, Bukidnon jaunts and inhaling clean Davao air.

Hello to Manila. *Sigh*

Time to get back on the saddle. Mind you, I’m good at waving goodbye…I guess the palm of my hand is all too familiar to a lot of my good friends already, having to wave goodbye so many times. But what makes goodbye “deal-able” is that it need not be permanent. I’ve had the pleasure of saying hello to friends I didn’t think I would ever bump into again.

Back on the road, I look forward to saying more hello’s and discovering what else is in store for me. There are tentative plans but, as they say, “man proposes, but God disposes” so I will canter on along the road and see what’s up ahead.

Meanwhile, I echo one part of a song I heard recently:
“And I will go where there are no easy roads
Leave the comforts that I know
I will go, and let this journey be my home,
I will go—I will go.”

Slice of Serenity

Overcast skies, cool breeze, and a pool with no one in it. That was the treat that greeted me this morning when I walked over to the nearby gym for a quick mid-morning swim. I had expected some people to be around since it’s a Saturday, but to my very pleasant surprise, I had a pool all to myself.

I’m not all that good a swimmer but doing laps once in a while gives me a bit of serenity that’s sometimes hard to find. When I’m swimming, I can think, pray, and reflect especially as each dip under mutes the world above and ushers you into a cool and generous embrace of a clear blue world below.

Life has a gracious way of springing slices of serenity on you when you least expect it.

The Greener Grass

Ever wonder why you order exactly the same dish as your friend in a restaurant but hers looks more appetizing or her portion seems bigger? I get friends saying that to me: “Why does your food always look more appetizing than mine?” I always laugh and say, the problem is not the food, it’s me, I always eat with more relish and that’s what people see and envy, not the dish.

I call it the “greener grass” syndrome. We all have our moments when the grass is greener on the other side of the fence—well, at least, I have. When I see a very slim, statuesque woman pass by, or a starry-eyed newly wed couple, or a mom coddling her baby, or when I visit a friend’s beautiful house. I have my moments.

But God always brings me back to a passage in the Bible that struck me as strange the first time I read it, but it has made more and more sense since I grew...er...wiser.

Psalm 16:5-6, “Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, surely I have a delightful inheritance.”

The sense of contentment brims over and has spilled on me. I learned to look at my own lot and care for it, and thank Him for the boundaries and limitations that He has—for want of a better word—imposed on me.

I could spend my time looking enviously over the other side of the fence, seeing my neighbor tend her garden and admire her blooms. That would mean my own garden would be untended—weeds would grow, vines would creep uncontrolled and strangle the other plants, worms would have their feast on every green leaf in sight, while other plants die of thirst. Then the other side of the fence would truly be greener.

It helps to know that God apportions our respective lot with wisdom and an intimate knowledge of who we are and how we can turn out to be. Once in a while, I look over the admire and allow a twinge of envy, but then I move back and work on my own lot. I survey what my lot looks like and so far, it's been good—despite, or I should say, because of, the boundaries God has blessed me with.

Beautiful Mati

A few months back, I joined a team from my church to a medical and dental outreach conducted in a fishing community somewhere in Mati, Davao Oriental. It was great to be able to extend help to a needy community for two days, this was a real treat--and the fringe benefit was also great: an afternoon in a small uninhabited island across the fishing village. The view was so beautiful that it inspired the 'artist' in me...so below are a couple of my amateur attempts at capturing what I find hard to put into words. :)

Jenga!

If you want to win in a game of Jenga, the first thing you need to make sure is that you don’t play against obsessive compulsive friends. This happened to me--and being so NOT obsessive compulsive myself, I often ended up screaming my lungs out when I see the tower leaning unstoppably towards a topple on my watch.

Funny how much a game tells you about yourself—and your friends! My three friends’ obsessive compulsive tendencies became obvious as they slowly circle around the Jenga tower, angle their heads left to right, up and down--to analyze which piece to move, then touch and poke gently to make sure they choose the right piece, and patiently tap on the piece they finally decide to move until it falls off.

I, on the other hand, touch and poke from where I’m sitting. I don’t get up and go to the other side of the tower—it never occurred to me that there could be other possibilities that might make themselves obvious from another angle—then I pry as patiently as I can manage (a feat!), whichever piece of wood that’s relatively loose. Of course, my patience snaps and I give the piece a not so gentle tug and voila! the earth’s gravity wins.

Patience, gentleness and attention to detail is the key to winning--and making sure to play the game on a solid table standing on solid cement floor.

But hey, it has to topple over some time, right? So why not do the honors and ease the tension that has built up. Allow your friends the luxury of a good long scream as they witness the tower topple in slow motion. Added bonus would be helping them remember their need for oxygen.

After all, winning isn’t everything, right? What counts is being kind and considerate (ahem).

The Passage of Time

Time flies.
Time heals all wounds.
Time waits for no man.
Time’s up.

Time. What a precious, precious commodity. It can be either frighteningly flitting or agonizingly slow.

There are times when I wish I could grab time by it’s tail and will it to stand still or go back, even just for a moment and allow me to restore relationships that have been neglected, change the way I acted on certain occasions and erase regrets, soak in precious moments just a little bit more before it is finally over.

Then reality sets in: time does not stand still, even if at times it seems to. It can be merciless, resolute in moving on for everyone. Leaving us with a trail of memories that are either agonizingly vivid or regrettably hazy.

But time also reproduces itself, giving us a new day, new hopes, new chances, new opportunities—to heal, to reach out, to change, to grab hold of, to enjoy, to be blessed. Mercifully, memories left behind can be hazy for those moments we need to forget so we can move on, and vivid for joys that are refreshing to remember.

As time moves on, I hope to keep in step with it…appreciating the fact that it is precious and that it does bring us nearer to a place where time will no longer matter.

Wheeee! Wifi!

Oh Joy!! Finally! A decent-paced wifi connection at NCCC Mall here in Matina,Davao. And you can imagine how much of a joy this is after four agonizing days of snail-paced connection? My brother told me at dinner about this strong wifi connection from what he read in the local newspapers and off I went, with family in tow. I managed to convince them they needed to do some grocery shopping. And so off we went!

So here I am doing all I need to get done, downloading my emails, replying to them, chatting with a friend, moderating my blog comments, etc etc...Wheeee! All these while sitted at a bench and my laptop on my lap (for a change). Since Christmas set me back quite a bit in finance, I sure am glad I can just sit on a bench and do my email without the obligatory cup of latte.

Ahh, what would one do without internet connection...come to think of it, what can one do with SLOW wifi connection??

Wish that Taiwan earthquake-caused communication problem gets worked out soon, or else...(shudder!)